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Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 167, 20 April 1916, Page 1

It is all very well to say " Many in haste and repent at leisure " ; but some people repent in haste, too. A contemporary contains an advertisement of a service in the local Church. Two consecutive lines run :—" Subject : ' Killed in Action.'" "Anthem, with solo: «0 Thank the Lord'.'" A Scottish dairyman, in need of a cow, once went to a neighbouring farmer, who had one to dispose of, and tried to drive a bargaiu The farmer stuck out for a good price, and at last, in wrath, the dairyman departed, saying : " You can tak' your auld coo to h—l !" Not long afterwards, being short of milk, the dairyman wont to the farm to see if he could buy some. The man of agriculture listened to his plea and replied, pavvkily: "Ye ken where ye sent jo\\ coo 'i Weel, ye can gang there and milk her !" The Main Trunk train was steaming along gaily and the guard entered the carriage. "Ticket, please" he asked of the man, who was slumbering peacefully in the corner of the compartment. A drunken murmur was the only response, and the guard shook him none too gently. "Now then, sir, I want your ticket, please ! " he snapped. "Got nohie—ticket," murmured the other 1 "Well, where have you come from ''. You must pay the fare." "Auckland," responded the other, as he settled down into the corner again after further stating his destination. "Seven-and-four, please ! Come along now, seven-and-four! " demanded the guard. Tho boozalier opened a pair of sleepy eyes and gazed at the guard fatuously for a moment. "Seveu-and-four's eleveu, you silly ass '. " he hiccoughed out impatiently, and dozed oil again.