SMART RETORT.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 158, 24 March 1916, Page 4 (Supplement)

SMART RETORT.

When in December, 1597, on the death of Sir Frank Lockwood, th 0 seat of York became vacant. Lord Charles Roresford stood for the election, and was opposed by Sir Christopher Fulness, afterwards Lord Furiiess. The contest was close and exciting, and eventually won by Lord Charles Beresford with a narrow majority of eleven, after two counts, on a poll of 11,000 votes. Lord Charles says:— "My brothers, Lord William and Lord 'Marcus, were helping me. Lord Marcus accompanied me to a meeting, and I told llr'm that be must make a speech. " i can't," ho said. '1 don t know what to say.' "1 told him to begin, because he woulll be interrupted, anl then, being an Irishman, b" would certainly find something to say. Lord Marcus thereupon rose to his feet, and a voice imi'ii diately shouted : " 'Who are ye?" " It wa.s enough : the fire kindled. " 'Who are we?' cried Lord Marcus. ■l'll tell von who w,. are . 'We are three brothers, and our names are Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and we have come here to put out the burning licrv Furncsg.' " Once noon a time an almost totally bald man'was dining in a restaurant, and fnuni a hair in h j - soup. He was vi rv aiigrv. "'Waiter!" be called "there i* a hair in mv soup." New tie nailer was a tactful man. "Ah !" be ex I rmed. "7r magnificent lon-/, cuiliug lia'r. Undoubtelly from le.iiiisieitr's '" .id." And then the e neb 11 itlel'ed diner. smiling blaiidh , rem irked i "Ab. ««!1. accidents will liapuen. ' And left a half-crown underneath his plate.