Untitled

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 156, 17 March 1916, Page 1 (Supplement)

REMARKABLE HAPPENING. An elderly gentleman of rural appearance had hardly seated himself in the tram car when a young lady who had followed liitu in approached him. "Sir, did you lose a five-pound note?" she asked. For a moment the farmer observed her with a surprised, curious look, then said convincingly, " Yes, ma'am, 1 did." '"Then hermit is," said she, handing the note to him. "I picked it. up behind you from the car floor." "Thank ye very much, young lady, for your honesty. This is a most remarkably happening." "Oh, I don't think so, sir. I believe everyone should return the money in such a case as this. What is there so remarkably about it?" " Why, I lost my five-pound note two years ago 1" ,

QUESTION FOIt QUESTION. Expecting a party of friends to supper, Major Moutarde had ordered a hare from the local sliop. The time was at hand, but not so tlio hare. After storming wi'dly at everybody in the house, the retired man of \lars stalked into the garden to cool down, his halJ head gleaming in the wintry nun shine. Just then, as bad luck ruled it, Jimmy Walker, the errand-boy from the butcher's shop, passed by. The major mistook him for th<T, fishmonger s messenger, and yelled at him : "Here, you young rascal, what Lave you done with my hare?'' Jimmy, who was not noted for his respect for his <dders, glanced calmly at the major's shining pate. " Never touched it. old cockalorum! ho replied, promptly. "What ave you done with my whiskers?''

A witty youth clambered on the top of a westward-bound (ilasgow tram recently, and when tin- lady conductor murmured, "Fares, please! .banded her i shilling, and demanded: — " Merlin, please.'' The fair ticket-pum her produced a slip of pasteboard, < lipped it. and handed it "to the would-b.. humorist >vi'.h 7ld. change.

"This car goe-s to X - sin l remarkul. with a sweet smile. "Tlial.s •:o\en nulcs on your journey.

And the youth, who really wanted a penny ticket, looked blue.