LITTLE BRAIN WAVES.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 138, 28 January 1916, Page 1 (Supplement)

LITTLE BRAIN WAVES.

The favourite refuge of the dull is dignity. * * * All women have hearts; a fow have intellects. * * * Every woman deep in her heart loves a hero. * * * When a man captures a girl he usually Mrs. her. * * * What's nothing to r. man sometimes means an aching heart for years to a woman. * * * An ambitious man should be a bachelor. Then he can rise by flirting with the wives of the men in power. * * * A man has brains, and Iris brains will take him as far as they go, and no farther. But with a woman it is different. Her brains may not be so good as the man's, but she can eke them out and make them go twice as far.

All men instinctively like women to be well-dressed. They may pretend they don't if they want the money for something else.

# # # A woman's heart is like one of those toy balloons children play with ; it is lighter than air, and most restless when tied to somebody.

Tact is the art of making a man believe that you believe him when you know he is lying and he knows that vou know.

The night of September 20-2/ was as disturbed as the previous night, for many further counter-attacks were made and constant pressure was maintained by the enemy. A dismounted cavalry brigade was thrown into Loos to form a_ garrison. Soon after dawn on the 27th, it became apparent that the brigade holding r'ossc 8 was unable to maintain its position and eventually it was slowly forced back, until at length our front at this point coincided with the eastern portion of the Hohenzollern Redoubt. In the afternoon of this day the Guards Division, which had taken over part of the line, to the north of the -Ith Corps, almost restored our former hue, bringing it up parallel with and slightly west of the Lens-La Bassee road.

A BRILLIANT ATTACK. This division made a very brilliant and successful attack on Hill 70 in the afternoon. They drove the Germans off the top of the hifi. but could not take the redoubt, which is on the north-ea-st slope* below the crest. They also took the Chalk Pit which lies n . lb of Piiits 14, and all the adjacent woods, but were unable to maintain themselves in the Puits jtse'f, which was most effectively commanded by wellposted machine guns. The 47th Division on the right of the Guards captured a wood further 11 the south, and repulsed a severe hostile counter-attack.

The 2Sth was passed jn consolidating tho ground gained and in making .. certain number of internal moves of divisions, in order to give tho troops rest, and to enable those units whose casualties had been heavy to refill their ranks with reinforcements.

The -17 th Division made a little more ground to the south, capturing one field gun and a few machine guns.

On the evening of th : s d;iy the situ ation remained practically unchanged

The line occupied by the troops ot" the First Army, south of the canal, became now very much extended by the salient with which it indented the cnemv's line.

The French 10th Army had been heavily opposed, and 1 considered mat the advance they were able to make did not afford sufficient protection to inv right Hank.

On roproscnt'ng thw to General .Toffre he was kind enough to ask the commander of the northern group of French armies to render me assistance

FRENCH SCPPORT. General Foch met the-.,- demands in the same friendly spirit which he has always displayed throughout the course of the whole campaign, and oxpres-ed his readiness fo give me all the cupnort ho could.

A PLEASANT LOOK. We cannot, of course, all be handsome, And it's hard for us all to be good; We are sure now and then to be lonely, And vie don't always do as we should. To be patient is not always easy* To be cheerful is much harder still ; But at least we can always be pleasant, If we make up our nr'nds that we will.

And it pays every time to be kindly, Although you feel worried and blue; If you smile at the world and look cheerful. The world will soon smile back at

you. So try to brace up and look pleasant, No matter how low you are down; Good humour is always contagious, But you banish your friends' when vou frown.

Druggist: "Here is a medicine good for man and beast." Wife: "Give me two bottles of it, please! I can use one and my husband the other."

Teacher: ''Johnny, can you tell me how the age of a chicken is determined?" Johnnv: T&s'm. By the teeth."

Teacher: "Why. Johnny, chickens have no teeth." Johnny "No'm; but we have."

Stella : " I hear you had a terrible experience." Bolln : "Yes. I was rescued from drowning by another girl."

On the morning of the 28th we discussed the situation, and the General agreed to send the 9th French Corps to take over the ground occupied uy ir. extending from the French left up to and including that portion of Hill 70 which we were holding, and also the village of Loos. This relief was commenced on the 30th September and completed on me two I'ollowmg nights. During the 2 ( Jth and 30th September and the first days of October, lighting was almost continuous along the northern part of the new line, particularly about the Hohcnzollern Redoubt and neighbouring trenches, to which the enemy evidently attached great value. His attacks, however, invariably broke down with very heavy loss under the accurate lire of our infantry and artillery. Our troops all along the front were some ground, in and about the Hohcnzollern Redoubt, but they paid heavily for it in the losses they suffered. On rtroops all along the front \\«to busily engaged in consolidating and strengthening the ground won, and the efficient and thorough manner in which this work was carried out reflect* the greatest credit upon all ranks. Every precaution \va,s made to deal with the counter-attack which was inevitable.

The total nurubor of prisoners captured during these operations amounted to ~u officers and MOO other ranks. Material which fell into our hands included 20 field-guns, 40 machine-guns, and ;$ nijuqnwerfer.

I deeply regret the heavy casualties which were incurred in this hntt'o. hut in view of the great strength of th» position, the stubborn defence or the enemy, and the powerful artille' y 1 y which he was supported, [ do not chink they were excessive. I am happy to be able to add that the proportion of slightly wounded is relatively verylarge indeed.

EFFICIENT REINFORCEMENTS. Since the date of my last dispatch tho Army has received strong reinforcements, and every reinforcement has had its quota of field Aiti'lery. In addition, numerous batteries of heavy eims and howitzers have been added to The strength of the heavy artillery. The arrival of those re'nforc-monls in the field lias tested the capacity of the nrtillerv as a whole to expend to meet the requirements of the Army, and to maintain the high level of efficiency that has characterised tins arm throughout the campaign. Our enem» ma\ have hoped, net perhaps without reason, tht it would be impossible loins, starting from such small beginning", to build up an efficient artillery to provide lor the very large expansion of the Aniiv, If he entertained such hopes, he has now good reasons to know that they have not boon justified by the reMi'ts.

TAKEN DOWN. It was the first sale of stock ovoi which the smart young auctioneer had presided, and, in response to his really eloquent pleadings, the bids for the horse he as selling slowly rose. At length a quiet-looking man made a bid of eleven guineas and a half. " Eleven guineas and a half, - ' he said, scornfully. "What, only eleven and i half guineas for this magnificent cob! Gentlemen, gentlemen, aren't you to be tempted?'' ' Well, I don't mind givm' you twelve pound, mister,'' .said the little man, alter a pause. " Thank you going at twelve pounds. Going—gone!" Tiie hammer fell, after which tie smart young auctioneer was at i Ip-r and it took some time to'convince him to account for the laugh which arose, and it took some tune to conv'nee him that lie had been taken down for eightcenpence.

Famous Scientist (excitedly). '"Something must be done to stop the spread of the opium habit among women."

Editor (calmly): "Very well, sir; I'll' put in a paragraph saying that a hankering for opium is a sign of old age!"

"My son," said the millionaire, "is a prolific inventor." ''lndeed!" rejoined the one-man audience. "What lias he invented?" "About three thousand reasons why I should give him money," replied the father.

The efficiency of the artillery of the New Armies has exceeded all expectations, and during the period under review excellent services have been rendered by the Territorial artillery.

THE CAS ATTACK. Owing to the repeated use, by the enemy, of asphyxiating gases m their attacks on our positions, 1 have been compelled to re-sort to similar methods; ;ind a detachment was organised for this purpose, which took part in the operations commencing on the 25th September for the first time. Although the enemy was known to have been prepared for such reprisals, our gas attack met with marked success, and produced a demoralising effect ui some of the opposing units, of which ample evidence wa.s forthcoming in the captured trenches. The men who undertook this work carried out their unfamiliar duties during a heavy bombardment with conspicuous gallantry and coolne-s; and I feel confident in tlfeir ability to more than hold their own, should the enemy again resort to this method of warfare. The- Territorial Force units have continued to merit the favourable remarks T have made on them in previous dispatches, and have taken a prominent part in many of the active operations in which the* Army has been engaged.

A now Division lias been sent from Canada, and lias joined the Army in the field. The material of which it is composed is excellent and this Division will, I am convinced, acquit itself as well in lace of the enemy as the Ist Canadian Division has always done.

HEROIC AIRMEN. Tn the concluuTng portion of Ivs report, Sir John pNys tributes to the work of the Royal Garrison Artillery, the observation officers, the Royal Enginons. the Royal Plying Corps, the Army Pay Department, and to the French arid Belgian troops. Regarding the Elving Corps, he mentions that during the period of the report there were more than 240 combats in the air and in nearly every case our pilots have had to i-eek the enemv behind movable n.nt -aircraft guns; and. in spite of this, they have succeeded in bringing down four of the German machines behind our trenches and at least twelve in the enemy s linos, and inanv more have been •' on to dive to earth m a damaged condition or to have retired from the fight. On one occasion an officer of the Royal Flving Corps engaged four enemy machine", and drove them off. proceeding nn h:.s reconnaksance. On another nccas;on two officers enured six Inutile machines and disabled at least on t > ol them.

PADDY'S EXPLANATION. A merchant who suspected an Irishman, in his employ oi' tamper ng with his private stock of whisky allowed the demipohn to become empty, and. instead of filling it again, put the lcpior in bottles in a cupboard, and labelled them "Poson." One night, as he came home from the theatre, he caught the fellow in the net. Sizing the bottle m mock terror the emplovor exclaimed : ••Great heavens! Do you know what vi.u are doing ? Don't >•"« - ,l> that what that bottle contain* is marked 'Poison' ?' , . . Paddv held it off and looked n't. Then h'e smelt it. and. with a look oi melamholy. replied : •• >T:.in't poson. sir! It's muell that's toilel agin." "Hnv dare you tamper with t wliethcr you knew it w.is poison or no r "lt's like this. sir. From the «a\ ver honour emptied that demijohn in the ee'lar 1 thought you had your suseions of me. an' it made me melancholy, so 1 thought, yor honoui, 1 d uomiii t suicide."

Wvor trust nn after-dinner jmlssnH;nt. ypoi-inlly one concerning; women.

NAMING A XOVKL ••The thing to do," said a literary man. "is to call you:- novel alter the name of-the leading character- to call it 'John Smith,' or wurtlnng ol that sort." ~, "Why is that the ihmg to dor a>kel the voting novcli-t. "Because the best and the most mic,.(svful novel; always have siicli names, (he other replied. "Takr as a standard tlie great novelist-, and you will find that the greatest hook -1 each m>ts it simp'c and plain title from Hie leading character's name.' "(i \y some instance-.'' "Instances are c.v-y to give. What U the li.st novel ol !)•< kni-:- It '- •David C<mperneld.' What k the best novel ef Thackeray ? It is Henry L--Ih „nd ' What is the best novel ..I Scott? It is 'lvanhoe.' What i.s Hie best novil of Thomas Hitrd> 'i 'Tcss ot t| lo DTibervtlie..' Of Gorge -Meredith:- 'The Ordeal of Hiehard rover,,! ' Oi U.der Haggard:- 'Allan (luatermain.' Oi ToKio>'- 'Anna Karen ina.' "These thngs." the -|H-iik«-«- eomhid. Ed "show a man that it is a lueky ami well-onioned thing for him to name is book after the leading character in it.