SOME ABSURDITIES OF THE LAW.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 135, 21 January 1916, Page 4 (Supplement)

SOME ABSURDITIES OF THE LAW.

FINED FOR KISSING HIS WIFE. If the Law is not actually a "hass," as some affect to believe, it certainly has made absurdities which even the layman can see and smile at, says an English paper. Take, tor example, the law relating to burglary, which is defined as "a breaking and entering a dwell nghous? by night, with intent to commit some felony therein." Thus, to constitute the'er'nie of burglary, it is not sufficient to enter a house with felonious intent; there must be a "breaking" nto the house. So that, if ;he householder carelessly leaves a window or door open, anyone who enters by them cannot be prosecuted for burglary. The bui ding thus entered must be a dwelling-house, in which the occupant or some member of his family habi- , tually bleeps at night: otherwise there can lie no burglary. And the crime must be committed within the hours of 9 p.m. and 6 a.m.; if the entry is made even a minute before or after these hours the intruder is no burglar in the eves of the law. Thus, in the middle or winter, he is at liberty to "engage in his employment," under the cover of darkness for six hours nightly without any danger of the severe punishment which awaits the man convicted of burglary. WHAT YOU MAY SAY TO YOUR LAWYER. The English law of libel has aspects even more absurd. Thus, it has been held that you may accuse your doctor or lawyer of drunkenness and snap your fingers at the law; but if you bring the same charge against a parson or a ship's captain you may have to pay a heavy price for your indi'-Totion. You may even call your lawyer a "client""or a "liar" without fear of trouble; but if you insnuate that he "can't read a declaration" your reflection on his professional skill may cost you dearly. Even what may seem words of praise, the law may consder libellous. Substantial damages have been recovered for such statements as these: "She's a beauty, she is!" "You won't play the hypocrite," "An honest lawyer." In each case the emphasis has made the praise ironical, and so libellous. On the other hand, a Justice of the Peace who sought to punish a man for calling hun "a fool, an ass, and a beetleheaded justice" was disgusted to find that the law declined to a.ssist him. To call a man a "physician extraordinary" is quite legitimate; hut to call him an "extraordinary physician" has proved disastrous. And although you may call a trader a "swindler," beware of applying the epithet, a "lame duck" to a stockbroker, or <' a duffer" to a pawnbroker, for these are words of opprobrium special to pawnbrokers and htockbrokers. ' If one person wilfully injures another and the injured person (i : es v.thin a year and a day, his assailant may ho charged with murder; but if his victim survives to the 367 th day—as happened in the case of James La.rcn, the Brook Street criminal, whose v.ctim died ten hours after the 366 th day had exp red—-no charge of numior, according to an old law, can be : roa.dit. IF THE LAW WERE ENFORCED. There are still unrepealed many anient statutes which, if put into operation to-day, would cause considerable coCsternation. Picture the feelings of law-abiding citV.ens cal'ed upon to pay a fine of twelvepeiicc for each falure to attend church on Sunday; or to choose between a 20 shillings' fine and a month's imprisonment tor eating meat on a Wednesday. Under other unrepealed laws you risk punishment for a wide range of innocent transgressions, from rowing or driving on the Sabbath to cultivating the tobacco-plant in your garden, or saying a ".naughty word " in the street. Under an Act of George IV. a constable lias still the power to line anyone who swears m public, the penalty ranging from a shilling for a soldier, sailor or labourer, to five shillings for an offender whose rank is h'gher than that of a "gentleman." Even whistling out of doors on the Sabbath might still mean an enforced appearance before a mag strate and a fine of a shilling. Some of our ancient land tenures which stid survive arc no less singular. There are many manors in Fngland in which, in case of intestacy, the youngest son, in>tead of the eldest, succeeds; in other manors the succession fails to the youngest daughter; and there are cases in which, if there are no children, the youngest brother inherits; while in the tenure of gavelkind, so common in Kent, the lands descend to all the sons together. The Dukes of Athol hold their Bla'r Athol estates by presenting a white rose to the Sovereign whenever he visits them there. The Dukes of Marlborough and Wellington hold part of their lands by presenting a small Hag annually to the King: and Bury House (New Forest) is held by the tenure of presenting the King, whenever he enters the Forest, with a brace of milkwhite greyhounds. But the English law has no monopoly of absurdities and oddities. Every country can match them with something equally, or still more, alisurd. In Russa, for instance, the man who sends a declaration of love on a postcard renders himself liable' to a fine of ten shillings; while, if he indulges in k s. Os in public, he d ics so at his peril. For a salute in the street he will probably have to pay the equivalent of 15 shillings; and 10 shillings more if he indulges in an omnibus or tramcar. He is fortunate if the kiss is worth the" penalty. In Germany the man who is daring enough to wear a red tic (the emblem of Sicial sin) in public will be lucky if he escapes with a tine; and when be speaks to a Government employee he will be wise to use words of courtesy. For inquiring if the young lady at the other end of the telephone was asleep, a gentleman of Karlsruhe was recently made to pay a fine of twenty marks; while another subject of the Kaser was • glad to (-capo with a penalty five times as large for taking the number of a bullying policeman. It was in Germany, too, thai one unhappy criminal was recently sentenced to death, to fifteen years' hard labour, and to ten years', deprivation of civil rights. And, as if he had not been sufficiently punished, he was condemned to police surveillance for the remainder of his lie when he had completed thoou three penalties' AMERICA FOR RECORDS. But it is across the Atlanta that the law indulges in its most ludicrous antics. Under a recent Act the man el' Tennessee who ventures to throw a kiss to a lady in a public place is Table to thirty days'in the County (Jaol to cool bis misguided ardour: and in Minnesota, "to sell, offer to sell, or give away any cigarette or cigarettes or cigarette-paper or substitute for the same," is pun shabio with a tine of not less than .50 dollars. The'man who goes to Atlantic City. New Jcrsev, on frolic bent, must bc-