THROUGH GERMAN SPECTACLES.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 135, 21 January 1916, Page 4 (Supplement)

THROUGH GERMAN SPECTACLES.

i BERLIN'S ANXIETY ABOUT THE NEXT "BIG PISH." SP4RTAX DIEr OF LIVER, LIGHTS AND BRAINS. Says the London "Daily Express of November 12th: — An uneasy feeling seems to be pervading Germany that the Allies are preparing what a Berlin journal, with a readv absorption of Australian technicalities, calls another "Big push." The German press, in a pions endeavour to allay apprehensions which seem natural enough in view of the tremendous German losses caused by the last "hie push," is at pains to point out that the fears of the German people are quite groundless, as the Allies are practically played out. THEY WILL KNOW IN TIME. The Berlin "Post" pours ridicule on the idea that any fresh move is contemplated : "The prospects of the Quadruple Entente are particularly dreary. They allege that they have a gigantic new war plan up their sleeve. "Where is this mystery to be developed? In the Balkans? But then they forget that to drive our victorious troops out of Servia and Bulgaria would require a mightier force than either France or Eng's.nd can dispose of. "As regards the other point of attack at Gallipoli, that has been covered by the Quadruple Powers with 6uch ridicule that any serious attempt at defence there, either on our own part or by the Turks, would be doing too much honour to our bungling foes. ."Thus the map of Europe no longer offers any room for the gigantic warplan of our foes, as a fresh offensive in the west after the utter collapse of the last one could hardly form part of the gigantic war plan. Therefore the scene of the loudly proclaimed colossal effort remains an undivulged and und.vulgeable secret of the English and French military leaders and their London stage managers." NOTHING DOING. • The "Tageblatt," the "Lokalanzeiger," and the " Tageszeitung" are .all equally reassuring, while the " Vc6sische Zeitung," from which the following extract is quoted, as sarcastic as well : " Their Hagenbeck reservoir of black Senegaleso, spotted Fiji islanders, brown Gurkhas, chocolate-coloured Hindus and yellow Malays being exhausted, and with it the supply of schnapps, money, and opium, with which these doughty champions of civilisation have been regaled, the English and French now turn towards their new found ' dear ones' in Greece with all sorts of enticements. "They do not ask for much. They merely desire the Greeks to extricate them from the slimy Balkan morass in which they aro stuck to the neck, at the imminent risk of choking. "Here, however, they are doomed to failure. In Europe, dear John Bull and Company, chere is 'nothing doing.' Not even Venizelo-s can succeed in revolution:sing his countrymen to the greater glory of the Quadruple Entente. "Turn again to Africa, John Bull. Distil a little more rum,, import a little more opium from India, and with these Christian gifts rejoice the hearts of the Kaffirs and the Hottentots; stupefy them so that they, with their usual docility begotten of fire-water' and 'dope,' allow themselves to be shipped as fodder for German machine guns." THE LEOPARD AND THE GHOUL. The "Rheinisch-Westfalische Zeitung" devotes a leading article to proving that the leopard cannot change its spots—a proposition that needs no in6:stence so far as Germany is concerned, in view of the cold-blooded murders of the women and children of the Ancona. The Westphalian paper, however, applies the lesson to England and Greece: — "Visit the Zoo, all ye still neutral peoples, and see 'f the leopard pe?chance changes its spots while you are admiring it. "We fear that you would be wasting your precious time expecting such a phenomenon. The leopard never changes its beautiful markings, nor does Albion change her deceitful nature; and she, too, is a leopard, a human leopard, whose spots r.re bloodstains and everlasting symbs!; of crime. "With the fate of Belgium and Servia before her eyes, Greece, too, was to have allowed herself to be harnessed to the English hangman's cart. A wis? king saved, the country from such a doom, but the English have long since assumed sovereign rights over it, and treat the land as though it were a suburb of London. No doubt they and the French will make Greek sod the scene of sanguinary and futile lights with the German and Turksh forces. Then where will little Greece be? "The nations do not yet seem quite to comprehend lhat the sacrifice of foreign peoples is England's business, and that which to-day has happened to Belgium and Servia may occur to-morrow to Hoiland and Denmark. Did they truly understand this, they would certainly shake off the invisible, but all the same tangible, halter which England has already placed around their necks." LIGHTS, MOKE LIGHTS! Berlin's meatless days are the subject of a homily in the "Tageblatt." wKjch counsels a noble self-sacrifice tempered by a fairly free indulgence in Tver, lights, brains and other similar parts too often neglected by fastidious caters ; "There are thousands of people to whom the institution of the 'meatless days' is of but very little concern, as they have long since forgotten the taste of meat, and therefore now hardly m'ss it On the other hand, it goes without saying that if meat be not available, the people must lie placed in a position to buy cheaper food to take its place. "Of all such products, potatoes, perhaps, approach nearest to the ideal sustenance for those of limited means. Sad to say, however, the present price of potatoes renders their purchase extremely difficult, nor do we sec any immediate prospect, ill Ber'in at ieast, of a reduction. "We would therefore suggest to the authorities that they sanction the sale on 'meatless days' of thr more easily perishable and cheaper inner parts, such as live, lights, brains, heart, kidneys, etc., jiart cularly in view of the importance of the condition that with true economy nothing shou'd be allowed to be wasted." BRUTE BEASTS AND SPART.#S. The "Deutsche Tageszeitung" also deals with the food questions and urges the hungry (somewhat superfluously) to practise self-denial:

"We object to the words 'holding out' which have too frequently been employed to express the attitude of Germany Thev do not really convey the will of the people, which is not pasK'vely to stand with a stooping back under the storm, but to march ever forward, leaving it to the weaklings to lament over a distress which in reality is non-existent. "Food is dear and scarce: well and good. Then let us eat Irss and exercise that self-control which enables the mind to overawe the body and makes inevitably for final triumph. Let the physically feeble be furnished with al! the nourishment that we can scrape together. The strong and healthy, men and women alike, must be spartanised and taught to lie content with a minimum if sentrn'aiice. ''lf th's be done, the more vigorous mentallv and spiritually will be the p ople's resistance to the enemy, who knows no such sacrifice, who is able to fight only when filled with food to satiety, whose might is that of the brute heist, which cannot stand against the higher power begotten of sell-den al and sacrifice. "Ties is the spirit which our popular leaders must infuse into the masses. There will then bo no more talk of ' holding out.' "

MARVELLOUS. * Great detective : "Ah, I see you have a new cook, my dear?" His Wife: "How do you know it?" Great Detective: "I noticed the imprint of a strange thumb on mv souii plate." SUITABLE FOR THE OCCASION. "Which sort of tea will you have, sir; green or black?" said the shopman. Here was a dilemma, but a bright idea, came to the mere man-shopper. "Oh, we bad better have black," he said; "il is for a funera'." "My father and I know everything in the world." said a small boy i'o Irs comnanion. "AH right." .said the latter. "Where's Asia?" ft was a stiff question, but the little follow answered coolly. "That is one of the things my father knows." In a regimental gazette the anecdote i> told of a sentry, new to the regime:! r uho iiad been imbibing rather freelv of the good red wine. When the colonel rinsed be dulv challenged, and was told very sharp'y. "I am the colonel." " You've got a dashed cood lob,'' was the reply. "Don't get drunk and lose it."

Her Father: "Young man. young man, •would you take my daughter from me? You don't know a father's feelings at such a time! I must suppress them!" Her Lover: "Oh, that's all right! If you want to give three cheers, go ahead !" A school teacher was cashing her monthly cheque at tin- bank, when the clerk apologised for the dirty condition of the notes he handed to' her. saying. " I hope you're not afraid of microbes?'' i "Not a bit!" the school teacher re- ! plied. "I'm (sure no microbe* could live on my salary !" Newly-Arrived American (to newsbnv) : "How marvellously cheap newspapers are in Ireland, to be sure. You have to pay double the price in America." Newsboy (extending lis hand) : " You can pay double the price now. sir. if it will make you feel any more at home, sir." Sharpe : "On the Christmas before tb'.ir marriage she cave him a beautiful book entitled 'A Perfect Gentle man.' " Whealton : " Anv change after a year id" married life?" Sharp'.-: "Yes; hist Christmas she gave him a book entit'od 'Wild Animals 1 Have Met.' "

"Now, Roddy," said the teacher, "if there wer. eleven sheep in a field, and six jumped over the fence, how many would there be leit ? ' "None." replcd Roddy. " Why. there would !" said h ■. "No. sir. there wouldn't," persisted Roddy. "S'ou may know arithmetic, but you don't know sheep." HIGHER ECONOMY. Aiming the Japanese economy is held to be a high virtue. Two old misers of Tokio were one day d scussing ways and means of saving. "I manage to make a tan last about twenty yeais." said one, "and this is my system : 1 don't wastefuUy open the whole fan and wave it carelessly. I open only one -eetion at a time. That is good for about a year. Then I open tlie next, and so on until the fan is e\entuallv used up." "Twenty vear.s for a good fan!" exclaimed the other. "What sinful extravagance! In my family, we use a fin lor two or three generations, and this : s how we do it : We open the whole fan but we don't wear it out by waving it. Oh, no! We hold it still, under our nose, and wave our face!"