An EMBARRASSING POSITION.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 129, 7 January 1916, Page 3 (Supplement)

An EMBARRASSING POSITION.

Tho following story is told of an amusing although somewhat embarrassing po«itou iu which .Mr. Augustine Birrcll once found himself while travelling in the North of England. He was only jus[ in time to catch the train, and sat down hurriedly next to a a littlo girl in shawl and clogs. Happening to glance at her a moment or two afterwards lie saw that she appeared very uneasy and was regarding him with no great favour. Then it was that it dawned upon him that he was fitting upon her newspaper. "Here, my dear,'' said Mr. Birrcll, pulling the paper from under hun. and handing it to her; 'Tin sorry." The little girl did not look satisfied, hut she sad nothing until a few minute* later, when the train drew up at the station. "Please, sir,'' she then enquired meekly as she rose to get fit', "may 1 have my l'r:ed fish? It was in the paper." A SMALLER GREECE To YOUR St CCKSSORS. M. .Venizelos, in his remarkable speech in the Greek Parliament sa d :■-- " f have been toid that Germany offers to guarantee our territorial integrity, and to give us some extension oi territory in Southern Albniva. The (iovornment .should sec that the promise is backed up by a direct declaration to iiu, t.oM'i'iiuu'iit. The C'abinp l should also .see to it that the guarantee oi integrity i- not merely lor the dm • atiou of the war —which would be useless liiir lor a period, say, of ion year-. Enquiry siiould also be mncir ;:; i<> what territory has been promised to liulgaria. ' Take care, gentlemen." said the ex-Premier in conclusion, "take care ol that Greater Greece which 1 have bunded over to you. Take tare you do not hand over to your successors a smaller Greece. Gentlemen, 1 iinvo finished. 1 feel that 1 have done mv duty." T MAKING IT WORTH WHILE. In his dining-room one day Mr. Mulligan (whose wifi was very stingy) dropped a sixpence through a crack in the floor. A friend who came in a minute later round him squatted down, industriously poking a five-pound note through the treacherous cranny with his forefinger. '•'Mulligan, what the diyil ar re ye doin' ?'' inquired the friend. "Sh-h!" said Mull'gan. "I'm tryin' to make it wort' my while to tear up this board."