PUNCH and the KAISER.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 127, 31 December 1915, Page 4 (Supplement)

PUNCH and the KAISER.

We associate 'Punch" with mirth, says the "Scotsman." It is the great comic paper, whose special function it is to dear the air with a laugh. At the bottom of Mr Punch's laugh there is generally good logic, and its effect, l'ke its purpose, makes for good humour and good understanding all round. "Don't 1" w still a salutary warning to many about to get married; and "Bang went saxpence!" was in its day and in its way a pleasant enough quip at the eipense of north country prodigality. THE SERIOUS SIDE. But it is apt to be forgotten that "Punon' is a serious satirist as well a« a playful humorist. One has but to recall the tact that Hood's "Song of the Shirt" made its first appearance in "Poach" V> accredit the great comic papeft wtith a vein of (retry tender pathos; and there are few who will deny the sternness of Bulwer Lytton's denunciation by Tennysoni yet "The New Timon" nlso came out in "Punch." 'Punch," in short, has a very serious side, not often presented to the public, but very effective when it is. And just at present, and for the last fourteen months, this serious side has 'been kept before the public —happily, however, let us add, not to the entire exclusion of the less sombre side of his character.

I refer chiefly to the keen-edged verse, keenly applied to the Kaiser, which has been appearing from week to week in the pages of "Bunch"' ever since this wicked find wasteful war broke out. It is the work of the editor, Sir Owen Seaman, who very rightly charges the Kaiser with the guilt of originating the war, and the responsibility of carrying it on; in plain words, ths Kaiser is (in "Punch's" view) the main, almost the only, criminal in the monstrous imbroglio now darkening and devastating Europe, his Chancellors, generals:, and) admirals, his armies and his people, being scarcely* more than tools and time-servers in his overpowering hands. VERSE OR POETRY. A collection of these sternly satirical attacks upon the personal greed and of tho German Emperor has just been published under the title of "War-time Verse," and it is here proposed to look at the justice, the force, and the point with which the charges are made. But first it it worthy of notice that their author describes his work-not as poetry but as verse. He would probably be the last to claim the higher title of poetry for any one of these productions. In deed, it may well be doubted whether indignation—which is said to have first originating verse in the histoiy of the arts—ever yet did produce the higher poetry. Seaman's verse is charged with indignation, and his work is a vigorous, pnsparing exposure of tho hypocrisy, pride, selfishness, and criminality of the man who, for the time allotted to him, is the directing power of Prussian Germany. It is better than prose; but it is not poetry, S" ist as neither "Hudibras" nor "The unciad" is poetry.; it is metrical and rhymed prose, condensed yet clear, with the brevity of wit and the force and illuminative power of a lightning flash.

THE KAISER BEFORE THE AVAR

Up till August of last year the Kaiser, in the eyes of "Punch," provided excellent "copy" for the flippant poet and the ribald rhymester. His innocent vanity in posturing as a Jack-of-all-trades his love of the limelight, his innumerable military wardrobes and warlike parades, and even his minatory phrases, were thought to add to the gaiety of the nations. Even "Punch" thought so—and was "taken in" like most of his countrymen. And so ' 'William" found admission into our open hearts, ata of our bread, and pledged us like a friend above suspicion. He—"Shared our griefs with seeming gentle eyes. He moved among us cousinly entreated, But hiding under a fair outward guise, A'heart that cheated." Can anything be more scathing, or more deserved, than Punch's denunciation of tho man whom he had regarded as at worst merely a mountebank, when at length he discovered the mountebank was a purposeful hypocrite all the while? "The mask is down, and forth you stand Known for a king whose word is no great matter. A traitor proved, for every honest hand To strike and shatter. WILLIAM'S RECORD. In a tone no less stern "Punch" reads the Kaiser's record (so far as it has gone) to the Kaiser himself. He reminds him how, not many months ago, be began hie career of universal conquest, "bulging with insolence and fat with pride," and asks: "What, then, is your achievement?"

'Eastward, the Russian draws you to hia fold, Content, on his own ground, to bide his day; Out of whose toils not many feet, of old, Found the returning way.

And still along the seas our watchers keep Their grip upon your throat with hands of steel, While your armada, which should rake the deep, Skulks in its hole at Kiel." But there is Belgium—is not her conquest a notable achievement?

'Yes, there u Belgium, where your sword Has bled to death a free and gallant race Whose life you held in ward; Where on your trail the smoking land lies bare Of hearth and homestead, and the dead babe clings About it* murder'd mother's breast —ah, there, Yes, you havo done great things!" It is a biting indictment, unhappily true in the last details. PEACE AT THE WAR LUKD'S CALL. Some time ago, it will bo remembered, the Kaiser boasted that peace was at his call (very much on his own terms) any day. Mr Punch has something to say on the subject:—

'Peace? There is none for you, nor oan be none; For still shall memory, like a fetid breath, Poison your lifs-days while the slow hours run,

Sir Owen Seaman* Biting Vene.

Till it be stifled in the dust of death." And he has tBo following searching questions for the War Lord in his hours of private meditation on the recent work of his hands—if, indeed, he ever dare be alone in communion with am conscience:—

"Will you lift to God your breath In praise that you are privileged by Fate To do His little ones to death? Or does your heart admit, in hours like these, God is not mock'd with words. His judgment stands; Nor all the waters of the cleansing eeni Can wash the blood-guilt from your

hands. Make your account with Him as best

you can— For outraged Earth has laid on you a

ban Not to be lifted while you live."

But the most indignant, the most plain-spoken, and the most terrible of all the pieces in this collection of justifiable invective is the piece entitled "The Murderers—Lines hddrcssed to their Master." Here arc some ot vue stanzas; —

"You seem to think, if once you win the day, You justify your means; it will not matter What laws of man you broke to get your way, What rules of chivalry you chose to shatter.

Is that your reading in the glass ol Time? And has your swollen head become 60 rotten That you suppose succeed could cancel crime, Or murder in its triumph be tor* gotten?

What would it serve you, tho' your end were won. And earth were made a mat to wipe your boot on. If every decent race beneath the sun, Spite in contempt upon the name of Teuton?"

It would be an anti-climax to quote, after these lines, any more of the bitter and angry words which "Punch" has directed against the Kaiser. Yet Moses the Second and the Mark of the Beast are stinging satires. There is only one possible excuse for the perpetrator ot the crimes here condemned —and that is, to put it mildly, mental aberration. But neither her nor his people advance the plea; and a nation gone mad (pace Lord Haldace) is unthinkable. "Whom the gods doom to destruction they first make mad!" is an ancient saying. Adaitomen! But it would be better if destruction preceded madness. TRUTHFUL WILLIE. As a relief from the severity of ''Punch's'' denunciations of the Kaiser, one turns to his sarcastic treatment of the little Kaiser. "Truthful Willie'' was suggested by an American's interview with the Crown Prince, and also by Wordsworth's "Wo are Seven."

"I met a gentle German Prince, His name was Truthful Will; An honest lad, and ever since His candour haunta me still.'

On being interrogated in the right Wordsworthian fashion about the war, the youth makes answer—- " 'Frankly, I cannot bear,' said he, 'The very thought ot strife; It seems so sad; it seems to me A wicked v.aste of life.' "

"But,'' replies the bewildered poet, "they are saying—- ' "Iwas you wno led The loud war party's cry For blood and iron.' 'Oh!' ne 6a.id, 'Oh, what a dreadful lie!' "

"Perhaps the blame rests with Bernhardt" murmurs the poet—

"He preached the Great War Game. 'Bernhardt! Who was he 'he cried; '1 never heard his name! Dear father must be told of him;

Father, who loathes all war, Is looking rather grey and grim, But this will make him roar!"

So with a smile that kuew no art He left me, well content, Thus to have communed heart to heart With one so innocent.'

The parody is so excellent, and the satire is legitimate; there is laughter in it, too—good-hunioured in the direction of Wordsworth, sardonic toAvards the other William. "PINCH'S" EDITOR. My readers may be interested in the author of the War-Time Verses here briefly reviewed. He has now been editor of 'Tuuch" tor nine years, but his connection, as chance contributor, began eo far back as twenty-one years ago. He is a transference from the teaching profession, for which he had been educated at Clare College, Cambridge, where he distinguished himself both as a scholar and as an athlete; ho was hrct-clna? in Classical Tripos and Captain of Clare Boats in the same year, 1883. At the age of twenty-four he became one of the thirty masters in the large Lancashire public school ol Rosaall, and nve or six years later was appointed l'rofessor of Literature at Durham College of Science, Newcastle-upon-Tyne. Ho is an M.A., a Doctor in Letters, a Barrister of the Inner Temple, and he received Knighthood from the hand of King George only the other year.

A famous author one day found in bis mail a letter from a French Count suggesting collaboration in the writing of a drama, the author to get the pecuniary benefits and the Count to share in the glory. The former sent the following answer : "Sir,—l am not in the habit of harnessing a horse and an ass to my carrage. 1 regret, therefore, that 1 cannot accept your amiable proposition." The Count, in his turn, wrote:--"Sir,--Your note refusing to join me Hi literary work is to hand. Of course, you are at perfect liberty to refuse so advantageous an offer, but I forbid you calling me a horse in the future." An electric vegetable is said to havo been discovered in India which has the power of affecting the magnetic needle at a distance of 20 ft. when the weather is favourable. In rainy weather it has uo electric 'influence wjj»t*ver.