WHERE A MAN FAILS.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 122, 17 December 1915, Page 3 (Supplement)

WHERE A MAN FAILS.

A man can't do two things at a time. A woman will broil a steak and see that the coffee does not boil over, and watch that the cat does not steal the remnant of the meat on the kitchen table, and dress the youngest boy, and set the table, and.stir the oatmeal, and give the orders' to the butcher -iftJ she can do it all at once, and not half try. Man has done wonders since he came before the public. He has navigated the ocean, lie lias penetrated the mysteries of the starry heavens, he has harnessed the lightning, and made it light the great cities o£ the world.. But he can't tind a reel of thread io his wife's work-basket; he can't discover her pocket in a dress hanging in the closet; he cannot hang out clothes and get them on the line the right- end up. He cannot hold clothes-pegs in his mouth while he is doing it either. He cannot be polite to somebody he hates. He cannot sew on a button. In short>, he cannot do a hundred things that women do almost instinctively.

An old Scotswoman, who, at eonsi'rftrabie personal inconvenience, had gone a good way to vitut a friend who was ill. learnt, on her arrival, that the' alarming symptoms had subsided. '• An' hoo are ye to-day, Mrs, Crawford?" she inquired, in' breathless anxiety. M . • "Oh, I'm nearly well yo. Mrs. Graham.-' " Nearly well!" exclaimed tFie; breathless visitor. " After nie coniiHf' sae far to sea ye, too!"' •• That ifiw. Sniarte is getting voir clever,'' growled the butcher. "What's the matter!■"' asked liiff wife. " When >lie came in just now she me T ought- to rename my scales tlift Ambuscade brand." " Well, wliv " " I've iust looked up the word.' wrni on the infuriated man, "and Hi«> dictionary says that atuW*de meant 'to lie in weight-' " Are you of opinion, .lames," asked a slim-looking man of Ins companion, "that Dr. Smith's medicine does any good ?" "Not unless you follow the directions." . "What are the directions?" " Keep tlio .bottle tightly corked."