IT PLEASED HER

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 90, 1 October 1915, Page 2 (Supplement)

IT PLEASED HER

In some of the small town drug stores in the quarry districts of Indiana you can buy anything from talcum powder to dynamite. Not long ago a small quarry operator drove up to o»« of these stores. The man was in a dog-cart, and his wife was with him. Calling to the proprietor of the store, he said: —

" Jim, bring out that box I bought :i while ago!" The package was put into the dog' cart at the feet of the man and his wife. The latter eyed it suspiciously. "What's in that package?" she asked, with some asperity. ''Now, never mind," said the husband: "that's not going to hurt you." The evasion excited the wife's further suspicions. " Ed. Spivens," she exclaimed, "that's a box of dynamite!" "Well, what if it is?" said Ed, emphatically. "It won't do any damage unless it explodes." "Ed Spivens!" shrilled the woman, "if you think I'm going to ride six miles in a dog-cart with fifty pounds of dynamite at my feet you're a bigger fool than I thought you were I You let that man take that stuff right out and put it in the back part of the cart, under the seat!"

TOO EXPENSIVE AS A PRIVATE

'Muzzle your mirth," said the First Recruiting Officer when he entered the inner chamber of the recruiting offic?. "I must have silence," he continued, "for a few moments' thought. There is a problem to be solved. Outside the door there is a problem to be solved. Outside the door there is a man who looks fifty, swears he ; s thirty-eight, has a wife and nineteen children, and wants to join the Army. I must find out what his separation allowance would amount to. Let me meditate." For a space there was silence, broken only by the gentle "swish swish," of the grey matter in the F.R.O.'s meditatory. At last the musing reased, and the ponderer walked to the door. "Nothing doing," he said to the man without. "We can't possibly take you on. We can get generals at half the price!"— "London Opinion."