NOT TO BE BEATEN.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 26, 1 April 1915, Page 1 (Supplement)

NOT TO BE BEATEN.

The uniformed guide at a provincial art gii'.try deeply impressed a party of ffxcursicnists by the ease with which he reeled off the names of the hronze and marble busts. "That is Dante, and this is Lycurgus, and that one in the ec ner is Caligula,'' he explained. "The marble bust with the shaggy beard 0:1 it is Virgil——" " Pardon me," an elderly bystander interrupted, but you are giving our friends from the country misleading information. The gentleman with the beard is not Virgil, but Homer. This other one is \ irgil. The guide realised that his reputation was at stake, an churned on the daring bvstander. '"See here, Mr. Clever, you think you know it all, but you've backed the wrong boss this time, he retorted. I was hc"'o when ihe busts was made, and tho sculptor —a clever man, but rather too foil,! of his glass got drunk one dav, ami chis.'lled 'diner's wlu-kers on poor old Virgil's chin!'' Then the bystander gasped, and the guide went up with a bound in the general estimation. PIiEFERUED TO BE SHOT. Cliarle Dudley Warner was the editor of a paper in Connecticut back in the 'sixties, arousing the patriotism or tlie State bv his vigorous appeals. One of the type-setters came in from t.ie composiiig-rooin, and, planting luiiiselt before tile editor, said: "\Ve!j, Mr. Warner, I've decided to enlist in the army." With mingled sensations of pride and resnonsil'.ilitv, Mr. Warner replied, encouragingly,' i hat he was glad to see that the man felt tlie call of duty. "Ob it isn't that," said the composer: "|,i:: I'd .nther be shot than try to sot anv more of your copy.

"So von wont to cliureli Inst Sunday" asked the rW.btful one. 'Jlhon. t^^;rt;st^''': iio , s^H i sbo. I °"YoSe P ;,U , ri.ht. How many of tho conKi'efirttion were there? (| "All the beloved, it seemed to me.