GETTING EVEN!

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 16, 26 February 1915, Page 4 (Supplement)

GETTING EVEN!

THE PARSON RETALIATES. I suppose it isn't right, to cultivate the spirit of revenge, says a writer in an English paper, but the fact remains that a good many Tommies, wounded not in fair fight, but by some treacherous dodge, such as the misuse of tho white flag or tho Red Cross, are going "to get. their own back" as 60on lis thev can.

One Tommy to whom I -was chatting pushed 011 on; side my advice not to bo revengeful. "That's all right for you parsons," he said. "When you've had a smack on tho right cheek you've got to turn tho other, and say Kindly do it again.' Not me! I'd land him one in the bread baskot, quiokl Git even—that's my motto. You try it on, Parson, next time. Makes you feel good!" I had to smile. Who wouldn't? And, after all 'I was not entirely guiltless.

The parish needed a piano. Concerts and entertainments languished for want of one. Those who had lent their instruments in the past would lend them no more —for reasons apparent! Like a child, I advanced the money for a second-hand pki&o. I was to be repaid with tlie proceeds of many entertainments —contemplated ones, that is. And in addition, organisers of concerts for outside objects were to pay 3s. 6d. for the use of the piano, good—as a scheme. But tlie Cricket Club, tho Football Club, the Social Club, etc., run their shows for their own funds, and forgot mo and my piano! Thy used it (3s. Od.), and lett mo to tune it (55.). If I suggested a concert, tableaux, or anything for the piano fund, there was no response. I woke up! Nearly two years had gone, and it was time. 1 had been "done." A big entertainment was organised, and the proceeds were to go, a 6 per posters, "to the Village Hall Fund, after payment of printing expenses, piano, costumes. etc." I drew the poster up, and I was treasurer. We did well. I issued the balance-sheet, and felt profoundly happy. "Receipts: Tickets, £6 17s Id.; Door, £3 9s. 3d.; Donations, £2 lis. 6d. Total, £l2 18s. Id. Expenses; Printing, Bs. fxl.; Costumes, £1 45.; School. 55.; Piano, £lO. Balance for Village Hall Fund, £1 Os. 7d. A hush fell over the village when I posted the above. And then the vil • lage laughed. We're a sporting lot! l had got, even! They saw the joke.

I wish I could claim this bit of "getting even" as my own. It's gorgeous! But a friend claims i+. His coal-sin d was at the further end of a rambling old-fashioned rectory. Without doubt —ono is sorry to say it —the coal wont. Someone or other took . toll every night. Sly friend* has ft sense of humour. Also, he desired to 'get even." So lie fixcd up a little village concert, the proceeds to be " For tho Rector's Coal Fund." ll© made about £2. Also, he changed the place of his coal storage, and bought 0 pad lock. The winter came, and he was asked when the village was going to have the coal "from the concert." He enigmatically replied, "They've had it"' He had got even, and aftirtj U long, long time the truth percolated. •

A lady of concentrated importance canio to tho parish. I don't think liked me. Certainly I didn't like her. She favoured me with a call, and I suffered lur for an hour while she told me of my sins of commission and omission. As she left she looked round tho hall with a sovereign held in her fingers. " Have you a box ?" she inquired sarcastically. "Well. I hadn't. I had seen missionary boxes on other vicarage hail tables* but I didn't like the idea. The hidv went for me. and told m© exactly what my duty was. She rubIn d it in, rudely r.r.d iruthtess|iy>. Every house should have its missionary box. Tho example should be set here. It' you are one of those who spurn m'ssionary effort, suivly there are other good objects you could help. Do yoii—cuttingly—know of any distress in tho parish which 1 his-the sovereignwould alleviate?" "Yes." 1 said, "there's a poor man who would lie extremely glad of a new overcoat this winter." "Is he regulair at church?" she demanded. " Never misses a service." I replied. '• You will "please, t|Se,n, give Km this." 1 put another novereign. to it, and bought myself v badly-needed coat. I was poor enough ; I wanted a coat; and I never missed a service! I thihk [ "evened"' matters up!