A CREEPY JOB.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 16, 26 February 1915, Page 4 (Supplement)

A CREEPY JOB.

A CITY MAN'S MILITARY EXPERIENCE.

CHALLENGING THE SKELETONS

Tho following interest'ng extract is from a letter received by a well-known real estate agent and company director of Sydney, from his brother in London. It throws a strong sidelight on the ke.nnees of 0110 and all in the Okl Country to serve King and country in any rank or capacity:— " When Kitchener called for a million men. it got 011 my nerves and put me off my focel to think I was lolling aroufid doing nothing for the old flag when so many of our bravo boyu were gladly risk, ing life and limb at the front. But when you aro hovering near the highwater mark of fifty 'your name's mud' from a military point cf view with C.O.'s. although, physically, be an fit as a fiddle. On the principle of 'you never know your luck.' I offered my services to the \ ictoria Rifles, putting mv own down as 3i ■ It says something for early piety and gymnastics that I passed a strict medical examination, was accepted, and actually sworn in. But my luck was out the next day. The colonel took me aside and said, 'I admire your pluck, but if it got round tho City that I let you join as a thirtv-five-year-old colt, I should bo ti ambled to death by the rush of applicants hoping to be also squeezed in.' I explained that I had inadvertently put my age down as 37. but it ought to have been 35. At this there was a broad grin, a foot wide at 'cast, but it was 110 go. I then tried the Army Pay Dept.. and passed for tnat. but "leofore 1 was sworn in, they told me I should have to start for Malta the next day. Now, as a lawsuit which makes my presence in London imperative is coming forward a few weeks hen:e. and particularly as a lot of my 'oof birds' are involved therein, I hau to draw out. A few days later, I was rumir.at'ng over a glass of dry sherry and a taste cf Stilton in your favourite Bodega when an old military pal of mine, who was formerly of my company when I was a 'Terrier,' bobbed in. 'What's up?' he inquired. 'Nothing,' I answered, 'everything's down.' I then explained my trouble. 'Oh, is that all.' he replied, 'come along with me; I'll soon iix you up. There are over a hundred of you City chumps now being sworn in to make up the full complement of the 7th Royal Fus'liers.' To cut a long story short, within a few hours 1 was medically examined, sivotfi in a full private of 'The Gallant Filacers ' and had been to the Tower artd donned my uniform. We were a nice little lot (so one of the officers declared), though a few of us did run a bit to tummy, but the drill sergeant promised to work that off. Included in the 127 were §OlllO dashed decent fellows. Twenty hailed from the Stock Exchange, among them 'The Nabob.' if you pleas?. He, before 'the house' shut up shop, could make you a close price in a lino of fifty thou, without turning a hair. There'were a number of barristers. solicitors, a few surveyors, and about 30 ambassadors of commerce —to be more explicit, commercial travellers. "Our duties afe present are 'Home Defence-,'' though we are all hoping to have a chance of getting to the front. We are guarding the General Post Office, Cannon Street Station, and JRlackfriars Bridge, over which all the trains pass with the bulk of ammunition supplies. We do two hours on and four hours off for twenty-four hours; wo then are free for twenty-four hours—not too i bad.

" Well, old boy, I w : ll now give you my first experience in 'The Gallant Fusiliers.' At midnight of the same day I was sworn in, I was on guard where the old G.P.O. used to l>e. It has been pulled down and boarded round. 1 w-aa stationed insid?. and had special instructions to carefully search all vacant spaces and particularly the underground sections. Imagine my creepy surprise at 1 a.m., whin I suddenly came across about two hundred nicely assorted skeletons. It, was ari eerie experience, and, to quote your Australian ballad, 'I would much rather have had a hardboiled egg.' I quickly pull.d myself together, and, guessing a bit (rf a joke had liecu put up on me. I went and reported with becoming gravity that I had encountered a couple oi hundred skeletons, which, upon being challenged, had eriven the correct countersign, adding. in chorus. 'All's well.' At th s there was 0. roar of laughter. It appear« tho old G.P.O. was erected on the s 'f„ of what had been during the Great Pla.guo a burial ground, and these skeletons were those of people stricken down by that disease. The r present home is called the Bone lam, and the blighters ring this pleasant surprise, on all the new men—pour encouxager les autns." . This gallant Fusilier has the friendship and esteem of ninny Anstralans and New Zealand**. They will appreciates his military ardour.