POTTED PHILOSOPHY.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 3, Issue 261, 31 December 1914, Page 3

POTTED PHILOSOPHY.

Never believe wrat a woman tells you or what a man doe&n't. Man strives to keep cool, women to look cool. Have a goud time. If you don't somebody else will. A fool's advice is better than a knave's. It is at least sincere. Never aspire to love without mor.ey. Never enter into a partnership with a man who is smarter than yourself. A man is as happy as he feels important. Marriage is never a failure, tut the contracting parties frequently ar?. It's surprising how many friends you have when you don't 'need them. Circumstances alter cases—especially people's reduced circumstances. Forty is the old aga cf youth and the youth of old aga A psrson is never too old to learn, but many are mu*h too \oung to realise it. It is the thinga he do-s not need that a man wants to make him happy. A woman will forgive a man «very sin in the calendar except another woman. By all means take things as they come, but don't wait till tbey go to claim possession. To be a success you should look as wise as an owl and act like a fool. A friend in need is apt to touch you. Getting rid of a delusion makes us wiser than getting hold of a truth. It s:ems natural for some women to be artificial. A burglar seldom leaves little to be desired. The man who always tells the truth,' whether it is demanded or not, is the most unpleasant companion you can meet with in a long day's march. Womeu may love their enemiee, but they hate their friends. The line of least resistance is tte one to the altar. If a man has trouble and goes to a woman for sympathy he is lucky if he doesn't acquire more. The world is mure curious to know how much money a man has to spend than it is to know bow he procured it. The difference between meddling and investigation is that you always investigate, while it is the other person who meddles. Some good resolutions are like blank cartridges—nothing comes out of them.

Without a man a girl is as lonely as a currant in a railway bun. Success attends those who help themelves, and sometimes a limi. of the law. Mosf married folk wish they had changed their minds before they changed their state. ' Bad language isn't a habit, it's a gift. Even light beer has been known to generate a dark brown taste. A woman's* second thoughts are nearly always the most unsatisfactory. Anything legal is always dull, whether it's a jut'ge or marriage. To reduce flesh, try living on a diet of love. The well-dressed man owes a lot to his tailor—including his bill. Only the young die good. Trying to be content with what we have is some trial. Girls are delicate vessels which require a small fortune every season to keep them in sails. The man who is wise in time has all the more leisure for indiscretion. With many people politeness is a breach of etiquette. A man is known by the bills he dishonours. There are more missing husbands than missed ones. It is generally the shortest man who has the longest drink. Many a toothless person indulges in biting sarcasm. We are a pugnacious people certainly; we enjoy a blow whether it's on the 'bus, tram or boat. We have seen a demonstrate—others have seen a demonstrator. An earthquake doesn't dispose men to sleep, but it makes the earth yawn. It requires leas philosophy to take things as they come than to part with things as they go. A really good woman is better than the best man. The earth's inhabitants need not be always grave, but it would be a terrible thing if the earth herself were to lose her gravity. Sharps make fools of mugs, and pretty women make fools of both of them.

The best recipe for happinesfl is to have plenty to do, and to keep on doing it; but it needn't be all hard work.

Many married men cannot forgive their mother«-in-law, because if it hadn't been for them their wives would never have been born. Hard wotk and hard luck seldom go hand in hand. Excuses are like patches where a rent is made, frequently more unseemly and unsightly than the rent itself. Anything hurried is always indigestible, whether it is meals or marriage. Lions led by asses applies to soldiers as well as married men. What a change a wife often makes in a man's life—and what a lot of change she requires while making it! Many a man would starve if he had nothing to live on but his reputation. If a man would be honest ht must keep in training. Any fool can give advice. A man never realises how many faults he has till he has been married a few months. Woman would be charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands. As a rule, men who mind their own business have mind enough to make good business meu.