WILHELM, THE BANDIT.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 3, Issue 250, 24 November 1914, Page 1

WILHELM, THE BANDIT.

His Last Will and Testament

The following in a copy of a circular which has been largely circulated in England since the outbreak of the war

I, WILLIAM, the Shameless, Emperor and King of Sausage Annihilators, Savages and Barbarians, recognising that I am completely mislead (though 1 haven't "missed lead") and mad with much Pride and Ambition, am making my will before my retirement to Colney Hatch or Siberia.

BEQUESTS1. My fortune (or misfortune) to all the widows, orphans and people of whose bereavement I have been the cause.

2. To Belgium, as a souvenir of her heroic defence of Liege, the Cross of Honour in diamonds and the Nobel Prize for Peace which was to be bestowed upon me this year; also my sword and the right to jeer at me for ever. 3. To France 1 restore (making a convenience of necessity), Alsace Lorraine, her clocks and the billions of francs indemnity 1 will never see. 4. To England I give back her title which I usurped—viz., "King of the Sea."

5. To Servia and Montenegro I give Austria. G. To Russia I give my Potsdam Telegraph Office with framed copies of famous "Wires."

7. To Austria I leave my revolver and last cartridge, in order that she may end the busir.ess'in honourable fashion. 8. To all the countries that I have forced into mobilisation I oiler my sincere regrets that 1 had not time to visit them with my mad dog arm? and demonstrate to them mv now famous Parisienne "Goose Kun."

9. To my family I leave my Almighty Name and ihe nothing 1 have left. As executors of this will 1 choose his Satanic Majesty and his Prime Minister Ananias (my favourite poet), to whom I regret 1 cannot give my body as it is claimed by the whole world. (Signed). WILHELM, The Sausage King. (Late Managing Director of the German and Austrian Empires, Unlimited).