THE CROQUET CLUB.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 3, Issue 234, 29 September 1914, Page 4

THE CROQUET CLUB.

Meeting of Members. The annual general meeting of the Pukekohe Crojuet Club was held in the secretary's room on September J Ist, the ladies present being Mesdames Stuart, Lawrie, ' Baker, Keith. Crum, Mills, Mcßae, 1 I). Roulston and Miss Ramsay. Officers elected for the ensuing year were:—Mrs Town son, president : Mrs Stuart, vice-president ; Miss Ramsay, secretary and treasurer : committee, Mesdames Lawrie, Keith, Crum, Raker and Mills. It was decided to have Mr* Lawrie's stars played for by last year's rides. The club's stars wore presented to the winners, Mrs I). Roulston and Miss R unsay. A vote of thanks to the retiring secretary brought the meeting to a close. The date of the opening day will be fixed later on. It i 9 almost incredible the number of ancient wheezes, puns, conundrums and quips that have of late heen dragged back lrom a merited obsolescence to be re-painted, oiled at the joints, set in a modern framework, and let loose on the pullic as war jokes. Ths avera<?t citizen (observes an Auckland contemoprary) is interrupted in his business fcalf a dozen times a day, requested to solve some rude conundrum about the Kaiser, and obviously expected to agree that it is quite the latest and smaitest thing out, although he had laughed at it over a dozen years ago when it had application to Paul Kruger, and had had it told to him twice the day befora yesterday. Said citizen wanders tu the wharf for a smoke after lunch, and is warned not to whistle as he might blow the Torch out; he goes home and his young hopeful, just in from echunl, informs him that the mount.d men of the Expeditionary Eorce are Lot tllowcd to lake (heir horses with them, aa Kitchener ftars they will "carry taili": over dinner his wifi aaks him if it is true the Kaiser had to drink from special glatses because he ha 3 sent all his "mugs" to the front. When the dom:stic peace has been restored, he thinks h2 remembers a jike that might be dressed up to get back on his friends, and sperd? the night puzzling out some fresh plagiarism ti perpetrate next day. So it goes on. Somebody should pititioi Parliament to amend the Police Offences Act before our normal mental p:rspective gets a permanent twist.