AFTER THE BANQUET.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 3, Issue 178, 13 March 1914, Page 4

AFTER THE BANQUET.

" Nihil " Whips The Cat.

lake away those tempting liquors, hide them frcm my achirg eight, For I feel real pain this muming, though I quaffed champagne last night Of lie dog that bit ma badly I don't crave a singli hair, Empty them into the sewer, they will do no damage there. Though last night, 1 must admit it, I ftlt like a demigod When we drank the toa3ts and spouted— Now, I'm fseling like a toad! Oh! the wonder cf last evening, when the jukes at:d songs went round, Nowhere on t'ris giddy planet could a jollier throng he found. Men of wit, and men of learning, men of low and high degree For that night were all as brothers; 'twas a joyoui sight to see. Hera the man who has his thousanda with the roustabout sat down. Joy from every face was beaming, each one felt he owned the town. When the toast "Our King" was . honoured every voice was raised to sing And outswelled a mighty chorus of "God Save our Gracious Kin*." We were Britons out for pleasurepolitics hai thera no place— We were proud of Kiog and Country, proud of our all conquering race. And the speeches, all wera teeming with the brotherhood of man, Acd the wine and perorations thrilled us as uuch subjects can. We were feeling mighty mellow when we rose to toast "Our Guest,'' And we drank it good and hearty, then we sang with boisterous zest "He's a Jolly Good F-liow." Surely never in that hall Mfore Was heard such a splendid chorus, as we sang it o'er and o'er. And e'n then were not contented, for we roared "Hip, Hip, Hooray!" Then our guest responded briefly in a manly, British way Every toast was hailed with gladness, all the speeches of the night Were so many gems of language, lucid, pithy, witty, bright. fcWhen the "Ladies' " toast was honoured I was asked, to my surprise, To respond, a:d I responded in a noble speech, and wise; So I gathered from the plaudits that assailed my listening ears, 'Twas the speech of all the evening and evoked the loudest cheers. Then I saw the lights grow double, two wbera one had been before; Then I felt a giddy feeling—l remember nothing more. « « • «

How I got home mystifies me, but this morning I awoke With a shivery, shaky feeling, minus wit, or song, or joke. On my bed quilt I was lying; all my clothes on save my collarStained were they with mud and garbage; in my pockets not a dollar. Oh! a glass of wine's delightful could one but halt at a glass, But when swallowed by the bucket, you will feel like me, alas! Skin of head as tight as drum end, and a nasty, gnawing pain Just ss if a hungry maggot was regaling in my brain. Eyes all swollen, red and bloodshot; sight, a yellow mist and dim, And my hem beats are spasmodic, and I ache in every limb. Mouth is like an unfluahed sewer, lost to me the sense of taste. Therojs a horrid, sinking feeling just adjacent to my waist. No mora banquets, no more smokers. co more jolly nights for me, For the pains exceed the pleasure, dire's the aftermath of spree. Though I love all gatherings social, f. of strong wines I'm now , • afraid. And henceforward in those gatherings I'll enthuse on lemonade. NIHIL NAMELESS. Drury, March 2nd, 1914.