JUST THE DIFFERENCE.

Putaruru Press, Volume VII, Issue 320, 24 December 1929, Page 5

JUST THE DIFFERENCE.

CONUNDRUMS FOR CHRISTMAS. What is the difference between an, orphan, a man with a bald head, and a glue-pot?—The orphan has ne’er a parent, the bald man has no hair apparent. (Where does the glue pot come in?-—Oh, that’s where you get stuck.) What is the difference between a king’s eldest son and the water in the fountain?—One is heir to the throne, and the other is thrown to the air. What is the difference between twice eleven and twice ten?—Twice eleven is twenty-two and twice twenty too.

What is the difference between a drill sergeant and an over-ripe cheese ?—One is mighty particular and the other particular mitey. What is hte difference between forms and ceremonies?—You sit upon forms and stand upon ceremonies. What kind of tea makes one’s head the lightest ? —lnsanity. What is it we all often say we will do, and nobody has even yet done?— Stop a minute.

Why is a dog’s tail a great novelty?—No one ever saw it before. Why should not the number 288 be mentioned? —It’s two gross.

Why is an alligator the most deceitful of animals?—He takes you in with an open countenance. What is the military defir i ion of a kiss?—A report at headquarters. The naval definition? —a plaesure smack.

Why is a cow’s tail like a swan’s breast?—lt grows down. Why is a thief in a garret beating his wife like an honest man? —He is above doing a bad action. How many foreigners will make a person impolite?—Forty Poles make one rood. What is the difference between an apple and a nice looking girl?— An apple has to be squeezed to be cider, while with a nice irl, you have to be beside her to squeeze her. Why may St. George be considered a careful driver? —He never appears without the drag-on. Why do children object to the absence of Santa Claus?—Because they prefer his presence (presents). What does an artist like to draw best?—His salary. What is the favourite dish of a girl who is engaged to be married? — Her-ring. What thing is that, that is lower with a head on than without one?— A pillow. What are the most difficult ships to conquer?—Hardships. Why is a bad cold a great humiliation?—lt brings the proudest man to his sneeze (knees). Why is a pig in the parlour like a house on fire?—Because the sooner it is put out the better. Why is a caterpillar like hot roll? —lt’s the grub that makes the butterfly. What is the best way to make a coat last?—Make the trousers and vest first.

i Which are (he , most, contented 'birds?—Rookc. because they never complain with caws. , Why is the Gas Controller like a poet?—Because he regulates the meter.

Why is a collier like a canary? He is brought up in a cage and has to peck for a living.