HUMOUR.

Putaruru Press, Volume VII, Issue 305, 12 September 1929, Page 6

HUMOUR.

The Correct Answer. Six-year-old: Pop, gimme another answer like you did last night. The father: Whatdo you mean ? Six-year-old: Well, tyhen teachfyr asked me to-day how much a million dollars was, I said, “ A htslluva >ot more’n you’ll ever have,” and she said “ Jackie, you may go home,” and I got out early. Pop, gimme another for tp-morrow, will you ? Busman’s Humour. It was a very wet day, and long and patiently had the dear o.d lady waited for a homeward bus. At last one pulled into the kerb beside her. It appeared to be full and no one alighted. “ Have you sitting room inside 7 ” inquired the old lady, timidly.

The conductor smiled. “ No, lady,” he replied, courteously, “ but there’s a bathroom on the first floor ! ” A Thoughtful Hostess. Mrs Cornell gave a luncheon, and, observing that one of the guests had eaten all her portion of ice-cream, she said: “My dear Miss Dane, do let me give you some more of the ice-cream.” ‘t Well thanks,” said the young woman. “ I will take some more, but only just a mouthful, please.” “ Hilda,” said Mrs Cornell to her maid, “fill Miss Dane’s plate.” Three Good ’uns. Lady (at theatre to man in seat behind her) “ I hope my hat is not worrying you.” The man: “It is worrying me a lot, my wife wants one like it.” Something Else Required. A drill-sergeant of a vo’untecr regiment, in drilling a squad which he was instructing in the funeral exercise, said:— “ Now, lads, I want to see how well you can do it. I’m go ng to walk through the ranks, and I wish you to suppose that I’m the corpse.” He ordered the sqwad to rest on their arms reversed, and stand r.t ease. Then he walked through the ranks, and addressed them as follows: “ Your arms are all right, but there is one thing wanting, my lads, you hadn’t that look of regret on your faces that you ought to have when a corpse walks past.” Not Particular. A mother was reproving her six year old girl for being naughty. “ If you are so tiresome and disagreeable,” she said, “ you will not be loved, and when you grow up your friends will be few.” The child replied at once, “ I shall not want any friends, for I shall get married.” “ Oh, no,” replied her mother “You won’t get married if -ou are disagreeable for men are particular.” After a short pause the child remarked: “Well, mummy, I don’t think daddy was particular.” The case proceeded with only 10 jurors—all men.