DESCRIPTION OF A COW.

Putaruru Press, 19 January 1928, Page 7

DESCRIPTION OF A COW.

AN AMERICAN VERSION. It is unnecessary to state that the following is derived from an American source The cow is a female quadruped with an alto voice and a countenance in which there is no guile. She collaborates with the pump in the production of a liquid called milk, provides the filler for hash, and at last is skinned by ihose she has benefited, as mortals commonly are. The young cow is called a calf, and is used in the manufacture of chicken salad. The cow’s tail is mounted aft and , has c universal joint. It is used to disturb marauding flies, and the tas- I sel on the end has unique educational value. Persons who milk cows and come in contact with the tassel have vocabularies of peculiar and impressive force. | The cow has two stomachs. The one on the ground floor is used as a warehouse and has no other function. When this one is filled the cow re- . tires to a quiet place where her ill- ] manners will occasion no comment j and devotes herself to rumination. 1 The raw material thus conveyed for the second time to the interior of her face is pulverised and delivered to the auxiliary stomach, where it is converted into cow. j The cow has no upper plate. All her teeth are parked in the lower part of her face. This arrangement was perfected by an efficiency expert to keep her from gumming things up. As a result she bites up and gums down. The male cow is called a bull and is lassoed along the Colorado, fought , south of the Rio Grande and shot in he vicinity of the Potomac. A slice of cow is worth 8 cents in the cow, 14 cents in the hands of the pr cker, and 2 dollars 40 cents in a restaurant that specialises ir. atmos- . phere. ,> . . 1