“HIS” PEOPLE.

Putaruru Press, Volume IV, Issue 156, 28 October 1926, Page 3

“HIS” PEOPLE.

AN ASPECT OF THE CONJUGAL COMPLEX. (Bv Barbara Strong). I have seen the well-being of more than one domestic menage menaced by one of the less commonly realised aspics of the (4 in-laws ” question. The daughter-in-law is honestly “all out*’ to be as nice as she knows how to people. But when her husband, who is all sweet reasonableness under the conjugal roof-tree, suddenly begins to throw his weight about so soon as his wife goes to stay with him at his relatives 7 abode, it is natural that the best wifely intentions should lake the traditional road! Wifely characteristics with which ho found no fault in the life a deux, are commented on and elaborated in satneal or pseudo-humorous vein. In less facetious moods, an uglier note of tyranny creeps in; and 'words and actions are subjected to new criticism. New standards arc suddenly exacted; traits that passed unquestioned are examined and cross-examined under the parental eye and in the parental hearing. In a word, the conjugal complex manifests itself in an at cession of the old overbearing masculine attitude that spoiled sons adopt towards foolist mothers, but that modern young wive* simply will not countenance. It is one thing to indulge' in a little humorous teasing that is a mutual business. To laugh with each other at each other’s little ways causes no bad blood or ill-feeling. But for either son or daughter—and the conjugal complex can work both ways!—to make a butt ©f wife or husband in the' presence of in-laws is a sure road to strife. •fkEven easy-going and not very sensitive souls are peculiarly vulnerable where the attitude of in-laws is concerned. Dignity assumes a more vital importance; amour-propre is more easily evoked in the in-law atmosphere. It is a sorry, stupid game, this atto impress relatives by a display of that mid-Victorian 1 ‘ this-is-my-property” spirit. For that, of course, is what it amounts to. Beneath the unkind pinpricks that all too soon and all too often become aggravated into fierce mutual recriminations, is that queer pride of possession which is as old as Man—and Woman. And it is that pride which is at the root of the conjugal complex expressed in throwing its weight about in undignified and sometimes cruel fashion. Husbandly and wifely attitude should be the same under all conditions, at home and abroad. It is incredible, yet painfully true, that the delicate courtesies and reserves which characterise their life together are abandoned when they visit each other’s relatives. Pride of possession can surely find prettier and happier outlets than insistence on the “ownership” note!