JOTTINGS.

Putaruru Press, Volume IV, Issue 120, 11 February 1926, Page 8

JOTTINGS.

Wonderful X: I knew a young fellow who went to sleep one night, and the next morning awoke a white-haired paralytic. Y: Oh! Come now, I say. X: Fact! The young fellow was “boots” in an hotel, and a white-hair-ed paralytic was a guest. S-S-Serious. “What time is it?” asked his wife suspiciously as he came in. “About one. 7 7 Just then the clock struck three. “Gracious! When did that clock begin to stutter?” hevsaid with a feeble attempt at justification. What A Difference. 4 4 Yes, ” said the gloomy one, fore we were married she used to * say 1 Bye-Bye 7 ever so sweetly when I left her. 7 7 4 4 Now it is Buy-Buy. 7 7 4 4 Ah, ” said his friend, 4 4 she uses a different spell over you. 77 Gone. Douglas 7 father: 44 Where is the kitten? 7 7 Douglas: “I don 7 t know, daddy. 77 Bruce: 44 0 h! daddy, it growed into a cat.” Very Cautious. Bobbie: 4 4 Can you crack nuts wif you teef, grannie? 77 Grannie: 4 4 No dearie. 77 Bobbie: 44 Then, please, will you mind these nuts for me while I am playing. 7 7 The Modern Child. Father: 4 4 Now, you understand what I say? 77 Daughter: 4 4 Will you broadcast it again? I haven’t got your, wavelength.” Quite Right. John: 44 Yes, that is the demon bowler of your team. He once put 18 men out in one innings!” Tom: 4 ‘Eighteen men!” John: “Yes; 11 men and seven spectators. 7 7 A Good Try. Teacher: “Etcetera means ‘and so on. 7 Now, Tommy, make up a sentence containing that word. 7 7 Tommy (after a pause): “I wish mother would hurry up etcetera some buttons on my trousers. 7 7 Having None. Jones: I 7 vc got the ball we lost yesterday morning— a kid had it. Smith: Good! I’ll give you what you gave him for it. Jones: N"o, thanks? 1 gave him a black eye. A Sad Case. Freddy: “I don’t feel very well ma. 77 7 .Mother: “Where do you feel worst? ” Limited Scope. Minister: “And how did Noah spend most of his time in the Ark?” Small boy: “Fishin.” Minister: “A very reasonable suggestion, my laddie. 7 7 Small boy (guardedly): “But he wouldna catch muckle. 7 7 Minister surprised: “What makes ye think that?” Small boy( knowingly: “Because, ye see he had only two worms!” I No Wonder. Teacher: “Why do you alwavs add up wrongly?” Scholar: “I don ’t know. 77 Teacher: “Docs anyone help you?” Scholar: “Vos; may father ” Teacher: “What is he?” Scholar: “ A waiter.”