A Great Set-to.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 1, Issue 47, 8 July 1890, Page 3

A Great Set-to.

TO THE EDITOR. In an auriferous valley not one hundred miles from Waikakaho I hear that a sanguinary encounter recently took-place, and aa the scene was of such an impressive nature it has inspired a muse in solitude to send you the following short poem:— Tommy started the news he was afraid of hia life, For a naughty young man waa in love with hia wife, And gave notice to Tommy no time to loose— To clear out —that he might atep in hia shoes; And farther—this wicked young man, he said, [f he didn’t comply, he’d shoot him stone dead. Now, Frank, loving acandil, least so ’tia averred, Fil'ed up to the chin—never loosing a word ; And he started right off on a neighbourly oruiae, To retail to hia friends, hia budget of news— Tommy, hearing of this, felt himself much agrieved, That his dear neighbour Frank, had the story believed; So he sought him at once, he tracked him about, He found him at last, and he challenged him ' out; ' Then the blood of the Muttons surged up : with delight, ■ • , They’re brave as wild lions—They " terrors ” to fight, Each-man took ,his stand, with hate in his eye, And both swore that one or the other must die; All that science could achieve, all that strength could command, Was displayed by tuese heroes—’twas awful—’twas grand ; Like the sail of a windmill, propelled by the blast, Did the arms of the Mutton fall heavy and fast. They’d annihilated Tom, had ha only been there, Rut they couldn’t do much mischief—they fell on the air, So busy were those props, in their aerial flight, That they’d no time to guard his probocis or sight. Now, Tommy, more careful, his face well concealed, Looked under his elbow, which served as a shield, With his striker full speed, he planted some blows On-'-he couldn't hit Frank without touching bis nose, Exhausted at last, they gave up the fray. To gain strength for another encounter nest day. “On your knees then, base ‘ Mutton,’” bravo Tommy exclaimed, “ Had I my fighting boots on, you’d lay bleeding and maimed Irrespective of persons, I'll fight while I can, All who speak of my wife—and that n ugh y young man." “You d—d little Yiliikins," the Mutton replied, •* Thank God that you have a whole bone in you hide, Had my second wind come, I was able to slay, And rid that young man of Yiliikins this day." To Frank — Try truth for a change, and don’t scandaliz® Tom Pepper's in Hades beciuse he told lies, And when he went there, I‘d feel no surprise, If he didn't take with him, a pair of black eyes. To Tommy — A still tongue, it is said, makes a head that is wise, Keep your ghost in the cupboard and don't advertise, There's an old saw which says, and it's quite true, I think, The more you stir dirty water, the more it will To Both — Be friends if you can, you quarrel but in vain, . You can't fight for sour apples—Never try it ’ again.