Page 2 Advertisements Column 4

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume I, Issue 144, 30 May 1884, Page 2

A native who lately visited Auckland from the Bay of Plenty reported that he was greatly pleased with the Salvation Army performances, as they reminded him much of a native haka. An English writer, speaking of the dowdiness in the dress of American married women, calls them “ alpaca females.” Every girl married thus far this year positively declares that the engagement was made in 1883. She does this to avert suspicion that she took advantage of leap year. “ You say the lady wears a glass eye?” “ Yes.” “ And false hair ?” “ Yes.” “ And false teeth?” “Yes.” “And has a false figure?” “Yes.” “But her tongue?” “ Ah, that is her own !” A Baltimore woman was taken with a severe tit of sneezing, and when it subsided she was found to bo dumb. Since then nearly every married man in Baltimore has been trying to induce his wife to lake snuff. Fifteen gentlemen on the East Coast have agreed to subscribe towards a fund to provide for the payment of a reward of £lOO for the discovery of a payable goldfield within the Tauranga district.