MISCELLANEOUS.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume I, Issue 121, 2 May 1884, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

When two women are talking together, it is safe to predief that they are saying evil of a third ; when two men, that they are saying good of themselves. “ Syracuse has a female architect,” reports a Western newspaper ; whereupon a blighted one writes—“ London hasn’t a female artitcct, but she has more than one designing woman.” “ I notice that Robinson is dead,” said Jones to Brown. “ Did he leave any money?” asked Brown. “Oh, yes!” replied Jones. “ How much ?” asked Brown. “ 7.11 he had,” replied the wag. “ Your arguments are sound, my son, and delivered with force,” said a clergyman to hit boy, who had been banging at his drum for an hour or more; “ but we have heard quite enough on that head.” Our common proverb which speaks of falling between two stools takes this form in China, where boat-travelling is very general—- “ One foot in this boat, one foot in that; they both push off, and you fall fiat.” Shortly before the battle of Cressy, fifty tons of Yarmouth herrings were shipped at Portsmouth for the use of the English troops in France during Lent. The Yarmouth herring fishery, which is of very great antiquity existed probably as early as the sixth century. “ A thermometer is not without honour save in its own country,” quotes a French paper, and proves it thus. In France the thermometer in use is that of Celsius, a Swede ; in Germany and Russia, that of Reaumur, a Frenchman ; in England and America, that of the German Fahrenheit ; while the Swedes disown their countryman and are guided by that of Leslie, a Scotchman. Very kind chemist to little girl: “ Now be sure to tell your papa to take this medicine according to the directions on the bottle ; an overdose might affect his brain.” Little girl: “ Oh, j don’t think there’s any danger of that, for I’ve heard mamma tell him lots of times he never had anv brains !” When a village-schoolmaster entered his temple of learning one morning, he read on the blackboard the touching legend—“ Our teacher is a donkey.” The pupils expected there would be a combined cyclone and earthquake ; but the philosophic pedagogue contented himself with adding the word “ driver ” to the legend, and opened the school as usual.