THE WEDDING TOUR.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume XI, Issue 1315, 12 June 1883, Page 4

THE WEDDING TOUR.

It was all arranged that as soon aa they were married they should start off at once to Phillip Island to spend their honeymoon. The intended bridegroom was a careful man, so he telegraphed to the hotel at Phillip Island to know if they could be accommodated with a bedroom and sitting room. The reply came back from the landlord that the rooms could be engaged. In the excitement consequent upon the approaching moinen* tous event, the luckless wight forgot, or, at any rate, neglected to telegraph a reply. The marriage took place, and the happy pair started on the honeymoon tour. Arrived at Phillip Island, Bene* diet and Beatrice made straight for the hotel, only to find, to their dismay, that the place was crowded by the Easter holiday-goers. There wasn’t a vacant room in the establishment. "But where are we to sleepf” asked Banedict. "I don’t know," said the perplexed landlord. " I haven’t a spare room in the place except the fowl-house, and I couldn’t put you there." Beatrice screamed at the foul idea, and the obliging landlord put on his considering cap. " You can’t go and sleep on the beach on your wedding night, of course," said he, “ the idea would be preposterous. Now, let me see. Every bouse around here is full except one, and three old maids live in that. Perhaps you could get them to take pity on you.” Receiving the directions to the abode of the three single ladies, the married couple posted off to the place, and placed their plight before the ancient unmarried trio. They couldn’t do it, they said. They had made vows of celibacy, and they had never yet allowed a man to sleep under their modest roof. “ But what are we to do ?” passionately enquired the husband. “You wouldn’t condemn a beautiful and blushing bride and her, although I say it myself, not unprepossessing husband, to sleep out in the woods exposed to the fury of the elements ? " Shouldn’t get married,’ laconically responded the old maids. "We never did." After a long parley, in which pas. sionate appeals, entreaties, tears and sobs played a prominent part, the hearts of the old maids were softened, and an armed truce was agreed on. The terms of the treaty were as follows :— 1. The bride was to sleep on a sofa in the kitchen of the old maid's re« sidence. 2. The bridegroom was to pass the night in an old stable at the rear of the dwelling-house. 3. The couple were to take their departure immediately after breakfast next morning, and no longer darken the abode of ancient ladies who did not believe in marriage or giving in marriage. The conditions were faithfully ear* ried out. The unhappy eouple left next day as fast as steamer, coach, and train could carry them, and ar* riving in town decided to spend their honeymoon in Melbourne.