HUMOROUS ENGAGEMENT.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume XI, Issue 1311, 19 April 1883, Page 4

HUMOROUS ENGAGEMENT.

An incident, which possessed a hum* orous as well as a pathetic side, oeeu* rred in Drake-street at about five o'clock last evening. At that hour, passers by observed a pot-valint and pot-bellied individual thrust out of a house of ill-fame. He was pushed down the steps on to the footpath at the point of the broomstick, the gay young thing who was at the business end of that article of domestic use, belabouring the unfortunate male severely about the shoulders and head as he fell. The fat man, after picking himself up from the footpath and finding casualties nil, made for the centre of the road after sundry eccentric tacks. Here he collected a number of stones and calmly and gravely executed a dexterous flank movement towards the footpath. Meanwhile the young thing on the verandah seeing trouble ahead, summoned five or six damsels attired in coloured dress-ing«gowns who deploged through the front door on the piazza, and endeavoured to scare away the invader by meansofa strong display of force. They were armed with brickbats, coal-shovels, and other articles, even the peaceful kitchen bellows— probably selected in consequence of its tendency to blow—being pressed into the service as a munition of war. Eight or nine crashes showed that the fat man was serving his artillery with a precision and correctness of aim some* what surprising considering his inebriated condition. During a cessation in the bombardment, while the besieger was collecting more stones, the beseiged damsels made a plucky sorie One broke the family broom over th e destructor's head, a second " fetched’ ’ him a judicious lick on the back with a frying-pan, while a third, with the dex* terity begot of long practise, went open-handed at the beseiger's forehead, and retired with a handful of hair as a well-won trophy. Then the fat man, apparently as cool as the proverbial cucumber, returned to the assault, and before he went home to tea, left the front window of the house absolutely paneless. The small boys gave “ fatty' 1 a cheer, the damsels blasphemed in the upper register—which by the way they uad been doing intermittently all the time—and slowly the edified crowd dispersed :—Auckland Star.