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Poverty Bay Standard, Volume X, Issue 1180, 20 October 1882, Page 2

Mails for Napier, per Southern Cross, will close to-morrow night at 7 p.m. A little excitement took place to-day, Mr J. White giving a gratuitous exhibition of his skill ou the trycicle iu the Gladstoueroad. He appeared to have perfect command over the machine, aud travelled at a really good pace. We are informed it is a recent importation, with all the latest improvements, such as lamps for night truvelling, *e.

This was overheard at the Excelsior ball on Wednesday evening last. A lady and | gentleman were gyrating about the room ! when the former encouragingly remarked ! “ your step suits mine exactly.” To this the latter somewhat nervously replied “ I’m so ’ glad to hear you say so as I know I’m an I awfully bad waltzer.” We sat and wondered I as to whether the reply was complimentary or not.

We have always understood that love laughs at locksmiths, but we were hardly prepared to believe that Cupid was such an ingenious young fellow as the following anecdote shows him to be. A fellow down south "was courting a pretty girl, but her mother would not permit him to stay after 10 o’clock at night, greatly to his and her daughter’s disgust. Last New Year’s Day that young man presented the old lady with a patent clock of great beauty and ingenuity The prospective mother-in-law was greatly pleased, and gave her old ticker to a poor woman who lived in the neighbourhood. Now that young couple are happy, for this new clock is so constructed that it will lose three hours between 8 and 10 in the evening, and make it up all right before morning. The old lady watches the clock carefully, and cries “ Ahem !” as usual when it gets to be ten, And yet, she says, she can’t understand what makes her get so sleepy before ten, and hate to get up so bad the next morning.

A “ Cloture.”—Liberal landlord. “ What j are you doing in my stockyard ?” Irish I tramp (engaged in mending his clothes). : “ I was jist a gathering in me rints, sorr !’’ The squire di ops the subject, and retires Hancock and Co., of Auckland, have bought a site for an hotel to cost £2,000. near Hairini bridge, Tauranga. Experiments at a cost of £lOOO are being made at Berne with a view to traction through the St. Gothard tunnel by means oi electricity. We would call the attention of our readers to Mr H. Towsey’s second Novelty Concert, which takes place to-morrow afternoon at three o’clock. On this occasion Mr Crawford will make his first appearance upon a Gisborne stage, and a select programme has 1 been prepared consisting of pianoforte and ! violin soli, songs, duets, &c. We expect a i large attendance. Mr Hy. Lewis in a detailed advertisement ' which appears elsewhere, announces that he • has now opened up a large and choice assort- 1 ment of summer goods specially selected for i this market and which he intends to dispose ' of at the lowest prices possible, compatible . with a fair profit. The mentioned, ! and the quotations given in the advertise- i ment are ample proof that Mr Lewis intends j not only to supply really good articles, but i also to sell as cheaply as possible, ) The tenders for the billiard and sample- | rooms, in connection with the Argyle Hotel, j close to-morrow at noon, and we have been requested to state that those who intend to go iu for it must be sharp as to time. We interviewed Mr Thornton, the wellknown scenic artist, at Parnell and Boylan’s Hall this afternoon, when we found that that gentleman had been working some marvellous improvements iu the shape of i scenery for the Hall. Ou entering, the first to attract attention is a lake scene, intended as a background, depicting a romantic expanse of lake with wooded islets ; the foreground consisting of graceful foliage, rocks, ferns, &c. This is a sunset scene, and displays a thorough knowledge of serial perspective aud romantic ideality. A number of wings, borders and flats have been prepared by Mi’ Thornton, and they are simply perfect in their design and execution. The true artist is thoroughly displayed, and we only trust that there will be many of our Gisborne friends present on the first opening ' night of the hall, with completed scenery, : when Mr Thornton's little daughters, who are accomplished actresses in their little way, will appear before the curtain in tragedy, comedy, dance and song, assisted by some of our best local talent. Last night at the Drill Shed a number of the members of the J. Battery of Artillery Volunteers met for bayonet aud gun drill. Sergeant-Major Featon was present and inspected the men. He was perfectly satisfied with the work performed, and congratulated those present on their efficiency. The firing for the Champion Belt will take place tomorrow at the range at 2 o’clock p.m. The volunteers will appear in uniform, and it is expected that there will be a very fair muster. A young man who thought he had won the heart, and now asked the hand in marriage of a certain young widow, was asked hy her — “What is the difference between myself and Mr Baxley’s Durham cow ?” He naturally replied, “Well, I don’t know.” “ Then,” said the widow, “ you had better marry the cow.” We have been favored by Captain Andrews with the following weather telegram, and beg to acknowledge to that gentleman our indebtedness :— “ Watch barometer ; bad weather approaching between N. W. and S.W. Glass fall again soon, with wind backing ; indications bad.” The Masterton “Star” reports a somewhat amusing episode as having occurred in St. Matthew’s Church. The offertories were being taken by a well-known vestryman, when an unaccountable halt took place opposite a small group of devout Maoris. The male member of the group, a stalwart son of the soil, appeared to be greatly agitated, and the young ladies with the purple lips were seemingly distressed, as they watched the growing impatience of the collector, who signalled vainly for the money bag to be passed round. At length they complied, with evident reluctance, and then the cause of the confusion was explained. It transpired that the male head of the group desired to be generous, but having only pound notes, he wished to obtain change, and seemed both mortified and surpx’ised at ascertaining that the contents of the bag could not be used for the purpose. Each day gives greater proof of the success which will undoubtedly attend the banquet to be given to A. McDonald Esq., on Tuesday evening next, in Parnell & Boylan’s Hall. Although the idea originated amongst the working men, his direct supporters, it has now developed into a general desire ou the part of all to do honor to a member who has worked so well aud faithfully in the Interests of the district. Many who at the late election were politically opposed to Mr McDonald, are now his staunchest friends, and are eager to show their appreciation of his services. This is how it should be, as our member being well-backed up will be considerably strengthened, and iu consequence enabled to battle even more successfully than befora. In connection with this we may mention that the Hon. J. N. Wilson M.L.C,, of Napier, and W. C. Smith Eeq., M.H.R., for Waipawa, have requested invitations, which desire it is almost needless to say was most gladly received, and telegrams forwarded by the committee expressing the pleasure they experienced at such an expression of the good feeling existing between themselves and Mr McDonald. A famous surgeon advises one of his patients to undergo an operation. “Is it very severe?” asks the patient. “Not for the patient,” says the doctor ; “we to sleep ; but very hard on the operator.” “ How’ so?” “We suffer terribly from anxiety, • .Jus think, it unly succeeds once iu a hunI dred timeii