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Poverty Bay Standard, Volume X, Issue 1180, 20 October 1882, Page 2

A lady who prosecuted her husband at the Melbourne police court the other day, said that “ he drowned his sorrows by smashing the crockery." A lawyer once said to u countryman in a smock frock, who was undergoing his examination in the witness-box, “ You in a smock frock, how are you paid for lying?” “ Less than you are, unfortunately,” was the reply, “ or you would be iu a smock frock too.” In his speech on the Loans Bills, Mr Smith, M.H.R. fur Waipawa, said there were 33 absentee proprietors, drawing annually £lOO,OOO wut uf the colony, and nut returning anything for it. A mechanical contrivance to facilitate horse breaking, invented by Mujor-de Lang, and already introduced into the Russian cavalry, is, ou the recommendation of the French Cavalry Commission, about to be tried at Saumur. This “ resort dresseur " is an artificial hand, attached to the animal's lower jaw. It combines softness with resistance, aud is a substitute for the breaker's hand. It is said to obviate much rough treatment. The inventor intends visiting England. Gladstone’s Jubilee.—What a record for a jubilee I what a pleasing sketch for 50 years Look at it. 1832. hope of the Tories ; 1880, hope of the Communists ; 1864, defender of the Irish Church ; 1869, smasher of ffie Irish Church; 1852,demolisher of Disrael’s Budgets; 1860-66, appropriator of Disraeli's main financial principles; champion of untried Neapolitans; gaoler of 700 untried Irishmen. 1876, scourge of Turkey; 1882, supplicator of Turkey’s Sultan; 1878. wild about lawless aggression; 1882, a lawless agressor; 1843, protectionist orator; 1882, foe of Batemvn Lloyd, and all thsir vlan. What a recard I —Yanit/ Fair.