OBEYING THEIR WIVES.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume X, Issue 1128, 22 August 1882, Page 4

OBEYING THEIR WIVES.

Thebe were five of them together, and it was late. They had been drinking. Finally, one of them looked at the clock aud said: ‘ What will our wives say when we come home ?’ * Let them say what they want to. Mine will tell me to go to the mischief, responded No. 2. ‘ I’ll tell you what we will do. Let us meet here again in the morning and tell our experiences. Let the one who has refused to do what his wife told him when he got home pay for this evening’s entertainment.’ ‘ That’s a good idea. We will agree to that.’ So the party broke up, and went to their respective homes. Next morning they met at the appointed time, and began to tell their experiences. Said No. 1. ‘ When I opened the door my wife was awake. She said: A pretty time of night for you to be coming home. You had better go out and sleep in the pig-pen, for that’s what you’ll come to, sooner or later, anyhow. Bather than pay for all we had drank last night, I did what she told me to de. That let’s me out.’ Next I No. 2 cleared his threat, and said : * When I got home I stumbled over a chair, and my wife called” There you are again, you drunken brute ’ You had better wake up the children, and stagger about for awhile, so they can see w hat a drunken brute of a father they are afflicted with. I thought the best thing I could do under the circumstances was to obey. So I woke up the children and staggered around until my wife hinted to me to stop. She used a chair in conveying the hint. That lets me out.’ Next! No. 3 spoke up, and said : ‘ I happened to stumble over the pan of dough, and my wife said .- Drunk again 1 Hadn’t you better sit down in that dough ? So I sat down in it, and that lets me out.’ Next! No. 4 said: ‘ I was humming a tune, and my wife called out: There you are again ! Hadn't you better give us a concert? I said: Certainly, and began to sing as loud as I could, but she told me to stop or she would throw something at me, and I stopped. That lets me out.’ Next 1 No. 5 looked disconsolate. He said : ‘ I reckon I’ll have to pay. My wife told me to do something none of you would have done, if you had been in my place.’ ‘ What was it ? ‘ She said: So you thought you would come home atlast Now, hadn’t you better go out to the well and drink a couple of buckets of water just to astonish your stomach ? That was more than I had bargained for, so it’s mv funeral.’