WHY NO SCOTCHMEN GO TO HEAVEN.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume X, Issue 1106, 26 July 1882, Page 4

WHY NO SCOTCHMEN GO TO HEAVEN.

Long years ago, in times so remote that history does not fix the epoch, a dreadful war was waged by the King of Scotland. Scotish valor prevailed, and the King of Scotland, elated by his success, sent for his Prime Minister, Lord Alexander.

" Well, Sandy," said he, “is there ne’er a king we canna conquer noo ?” “ An,' it please your Majesty, I ken o’ a king that your Majesty canna vanquish.” “ An’ who is he, Sandy ?" Lord Alexander, reverently looking up, said: “ the King o’ Heaven." “ The King o' whor, Sandy ?" "The King o’ Heaven." The Scottish King did not understand, but was unwilling to exhibit any ignorance. " Just gang vour ways, Sandy, and tell the King o f Heaven to gie’ up his dominions or I’ll con?o mysel’ and dine him oot o' them ; and mind, Sandy, ye dinna come back to us until ye hae done oor biddin.’’

Lord Alexander retired much perplexed, but met a priest, and, reassured, returned, ana presented himself.

" Well, Sandy," said the King, " ha’ ye seen the King o' Heaven, and what says he to oor biddin’ ?” " An’ it pleases your Majesty, I have seen ano o’ bls accredited ministers.”

" Weel, and what says he F” "He says your Majesty may e’en hae his kingdom for the asking o' it.” “ Was he sae civil ? ” said the King, warming to magnanimity. “ Just gang your ways back, Saudy, an’ tell the King o’ Heaven that for his civility the de'il a Scotchman shall over set foot in his kingdom.”