THE GUILELESS WITNESS.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume X, Issue 1023, 14 January 1882, Page 4

THE GUILELESS WITNESS.

Do you know the prisoner well?” asked the attorney, “ Never knew him sick,” replied the witness. “No levity,” said the lawyer sternly. “ Now, sir, did you ever see the prisoner at the bar ?” “ Took many a drink with him at the bar.” “ Will the Court make the ” “ I have, Jedge,” said the witness, anticipating the lawyer; “ I have answered the question. I knowed the prisoner when he was a boy two feet long and a man five feet ten ■ —” “ Tour Honour ” “ It’s a fact, Jedge; I’m under my oath,” persisted the witness. ' The lawyer arose, placed both hands on the table in front of him, spread his legs apart, leaned his body over the table, and said : “ Will you tell the Court what you know about this ease ?” “ That ain’t his name,” replied the witness. “ What ain’t his name ?“ “Case.” “ Who said it was ?” “ You did. You wanted to know what I knew about this case —bis name is Smith.” “ Your Honour,” howled the attorney, plucking his beard out by the roots, “ will you make this man answer ?” “ Witness,” said the Judge, “ you must answer the questions put to you.” “ Land o’ Goschen, Jedge," haint I doing it ? Let the blamed cuss fire away, I’m ready.” ’* Then,” said the lawyer, “ don’t beat about the bush any more. You and this prisoner have been friends ?” “ Never,” promptly replied the witness. “ What I Wasn’t you summoned here as a friend ?” “ No, sir,” I was summoned here as a Presbyterian. Nary one of us Was ever friends—he’s an old-line Baptist, without a drop of Quaker in him.” “ Stand down,” yelled the lawyer in disgust. “ Hey ?” “ Stand down.” “ Can’t do it, sir. I’ll sit down or stand up ”

“ Sherriff remove that man from the box.” Witness retires muttering, “ Well, if he ain’t the thiek-headedest cuss I ever laid eyes on.”—American Paper.