THE DOG.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume IX, Issue 969, 13 August 1881, Page 7 (Supplement)

THE DOG.

The dog is a digitigrade carnivorous mamal. This will be mews to most persons, who had always supposed that a dog was simply a dog. It has been bruited about that the dog is the best friend to man among the brute creation. He pants after the thief. When once he gets hold of the thief’s pants, he makes breaches. A barking dog never bites ; that is •to say, when he begins to bite he stops barking. Conversely, a biting dog never barks, and for similar reasons. The hair of a dog will cure his bite. This is a cure-ious superstition among hair-brained young men who are fast going to the dogs. Dogs are dentists by profession. They insert teeth without charge. The sea-dog loves his bark. Did you ever see a dog that didn’t ! The bark of a tree is unlike the bark of a do. Even a dog-wood know this. Dogs are not always kind, though there are many kinds of dogs. Every dog has his day, although dog days last but a few weeks in the year. There must be a Sirius error here. The dog’s star is the dog’s planet. They planet so that their days come while the star is in the sky. They do not fear it. It is not a Skye terrier. When a dog enters a pitched battle he uses the dog’s ’tar. Brutus said, “ I had rather a dog and bay the moon than such a Roman.” He had seen the dogs roamin’ around on the bay. They never got over the bay. See ? A living dog is said to'be better than a dead lion. There’s no lyin’ about this, but a dead dog is dog gone bad. Tray was a good dog, but tres is worse than the deuce when it is against you. Dogs were the original Argonatus. They have never given over their search for the fleas. The bulldog is a stubborn fellow. He is not easily cowed. A great many stories about the dog have obtained cur-rency. The man who has left a part of his clothing with the dog has cur-rent. See ? Puppies are born blind. They are not see-dogs then. There are many types of dog, including the doguerrotype. But perhaps we had better paws here. Howl this do for the dog ?