Society.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume IX, Issue 953, 18 June 1881, Page 1 (Supplement)

Society.

THE YOUNG LADIES OF THE PRESENT DAY. (original). “ One woman is fair, yet I am well ; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well ; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be that’s certain , wise or I’ll none ; mild, or come not near to me ; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen her ; fair, or I’ll never look on her ; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what color it please God.” Such is Shakespeare’s mind on woman, in “ Much Ado About Nothing.” Act 2, scene 3, and happy they who can bear the palm of victory, not in their own estimation be it understood, (for many would claim it on that ground) but in the estimation of others who see from other points of view. To a reflective mind the text laid down suggests a train of thoughts among which “ imagination wanders lost,” and reason hides her diminished heap in the nearest bag, and faculties seem lost in a maze of bewilderment from which there seems no escape. Oh romantic and susceptible man whoever thou art that in the gushing enthusiasm of thy nature, makest to

thyself an idol of clay. Beware — Pause—Reflect.

How much of thy divinity thinkest thou is real, in these days of paint, powder and pads ? Dost thou fondly imagine those brilliant orbs which look such unutterably soft things, cannot blaze with passion and fury, and that bewitching smile change into a sullen frown ; that bitter words of scorn cannot hiss thro’ those ruby lips and ivory teeth, and all the pretty little airs, and fascinating graces cannot be put off and on like a garment, and perchance be mislaid when wanted, to be replaced by others of a more striking character.

Do w r e indeed feed the mouse on toasted cheese when caught ? Read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest. Verily when thou art thyself caught thou will soon find out. Hear the voice of Shakespeare : “ Be rash if thou will in business, but beware of those bewildering creatures in fine muslin and jewellery,” viz. young ladies. At the outset let me positively disclaim every intention of personality, and if any of my remarks cause a pang kindly think before you condemn me, and try and find out whether it may not be because I have trodden on your pet corn, or touched some sore point which you may have secretly cherished and guarded. I intend remarking on the “ Young Ladies of the present day,” under four heads. —The “Fast” the “Vivacious,” the “ Quiet ” and the “ Sentimental.” The “ Fast ” Young lady is one seldom to be met with in a state of perfection, but when she is, her necessary accomplishments include, hunting, and laying and taking the odds on races &c., she is “ up ” in jockey matters, can play a game of billiards, and enjoy the fragrant weed. The four-in-hand is delightful, shooting, and riding indispensable, and she may also indulge in muscular Christianity (boxing), has also no compunction in horsewhipping the man who offends her. The slang dictionary is at her fingers’ ends, and the vocabulary of sporting men becomes familiar. If you have a taste for this kind of thing, you must possess a strong will, perfect temper, great patience, and any amount of superfluous cash. Should you be a mild, meek, and vacillating man with no “ unexpended balance ” to be quickly disposed of, then fly from the “ fast ” young lady as Lot did from Sodom, and tarry not. “ Fastness ” of course extends through several grades down to what is popularly called “ rather fast.” This kind is fond of gay colors, must come out immediately in the latest new fashion, has a jaunty and military style about her, she also slightly affects slang, and is a little given to betting (gloves &c.) and generally has a go-ahead style, more easily imagined than described, and reckons flirting among her pastimes. Avoid her. Her extravagances are the result of a contemptible vanity, instead of a high spirit. She wants to be thought singular. On the whole the “ fast ” denomination had better be kept clear of. Some Heaven gifted man may take one in hand, but she is not worth the trouble of breaking in. The “ Vivacious ” Class commence with that young lady whose tongue is continually outrunning discretion, whose flippancies either are, or are bordering on impertinence, and who poor girl fancying herself witty, tries to make a butt of everything and everybody that come within her range, to her own disadvantage, the disgust of sensible people, and the annoyance of all, but those of minds as “small as her own. Marry her if suicide in 12 months is your desire. She is rattle, rattle, like a baby’s toy only one note, and that discordant and wearisome. Beneficent nature has implanted an instinct of warning against this class. But we here also descend (or rise) through several grades, and come to the “ Lively talker ” a teller of stories, a dealer in epigrams and bon mots, one, who if her liveliness be tempered with good qualities, is not as a rule “ half a bad sort.” She gesticulates considerably (especially if she has small white hands) has much facial expression (not always sublime) makes a perfect battery of her eyes, and railway signals of her eyebrows. She may be a very agreeable companion, but one whom nevertheless you should be extremely careful of, until you know her most thoroughly, both in and out of home life. The “ Quiet Class ” Nearest approaching our last subject, will be found on the whole, if you will go and put your neck in the

yoke, to be about the best to wear the other bow. You must not iinagine you will "et perfection, however if you do, all 1 can say is that you are a doomed man, you must be prepared for an awakening of a stronger or milder degree, when you will find out of what clay the potter formed the vessel of your choice, and you may in time take a melancholy pleasure in drawing comparisons between her many shortcomings, and your own infinite virtues (for of course you are a model man) to the great gratification of your own self esteem. Very quiel young ladies are frequently dummies resulting from both lack of energy and brains (especially the latter). They sit flabby, stupid uninteresting creatures, their hands folded in their laps, looking as if they had lost a shilling and found sixpence, and were calculating the difference, and exhibit nc higher pretensions than might be shewn by an animated wax-doll. Then is a species somewhat akin, but yel different, viz., the reticent young lady You cannot fail to notice the look oi keen appreciation, as a pair of intelli gent eyes travel from speaker tc speaker, taking all in and letting little escape. She possessess a good shar< of common sense, quick penetration and a good judgment of character, am frequently a small spice of humor Beware of trying to deceive her, she will see through you in a minute, and very probably, give you a pill some what difficult of appreciation, anc which may take some time to reconcih to your constitution.

The “ Sentimental ” Class is somewhat allied to the quiet but from some cause or causes un known (though very probably fron reading works of an inanely lack-a daisical class) its members look a everything through a haze of fals sentiment, causing them to talk am behave in such a manner that to ; critical observer causes them to appea inexpressibly absurd. They are ver fond of talking in peculiar high flowi strains of “stars,” “flowers,” “birds, “ heaven,” “ love,” etc., and hav affected mincing ways and attitudes such as contracting the lips whei speaking, and exhibiting the teeth laying the hand with the most delight ful unconsciousness over where thei hearts ought to be ; turning their eye up, and reclining in all kinds of affecte attitudes, and generally trying to 100 languishing. It is a great pity, ir deed, as there are frequently some ver worthy creatures among them, a trifl weak perhaps, but still not withoi good qualities, but which from th course adopted, have become weak an undefined. In conclusion my bachelor frienc be very careful of the young ladies < the present day. They are like tl whistle which may be paid for at muc too dear a price, but from which sounc will come. You may draw a priz but should you draw a blank, O ho rible ! If you must go the way of tl world, and it is quite right and natun you should do so, be vere careful an cautious indeed. Avoid, as a rub affectionate girls, they are impulsn but shallow, but above and beyon everything keep away from that vei seductive character—a flirt. Flirtin like drinking, when once grown ini is a habit exceedingly hard to be le off. And married flirts, common i they are, are most to be avoide Look out for those who are equally home in the kitchen and the drawin. room, who study other people befoi themselves ; who are not fond of tl looking-glass, chemists and drapers who are active in doing works < charity without ostentation ; and y< may then find married life surpass tl glorious bachelor one, as far as the si surpasses the moon in light.—(Coi municated.)