SOCIETY.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume IX, Issue 949, 4 June 1881, Page 1 (Supplement)

SOCIETY.

From Jottings Noted at the Volunteer Ball. (By “Quiz” in the Gallery). Verily it is time that some one possessing a knowledge of etiquette (so generally unobserved in the Colonies) should pay Gisborne a visit. Without putting myself up as a model, I certainly am of opinion that the adoJesence of the Bay should acquire those little niceties which stamp and mark the true gentleman. A gentleman, although perhaps having to ink his coat in order to make it presentable, can on all occasions be “spotted ” in a ball-room. A cad, poesessing a trifle of that “ filthy lucre,” and coat fresh from the hands of the tailor, yet lacking “ the one thing needful,” may as easily be distinguished. Observe the former. He enters the room in a

quiet and subdued manner, and approaches a lady with whom he is acquainted. He asks her if she would permit him to have the pleasure of (say) waltzing with her, and upon the concession being granted, thanks her in courteous phrase ; in fact he leaves the selection of the dance to her. Now look at the other picture. Young “ collar and cuffs ” walks up to a lady, with whom he has, probably, no acquaintance ; and, with no end of “ side,” doubles himself up in a futile attempt to make a bow, and coolly says “ Will you let me see your programme.” He rather demands a “ right,” than solicits a “ favor.” He glances through the names set opposite the various dances, and finally enters his own cognomen in one. two, or even three of the vacant spaces, without consulting the lady’s pleasure at all. Perhaps he may select a waltz, although not able to turn himself around successfully, to say nothing of guiding a partner. I have heard many ladies say —particularly married ladies—that many of these young fellows can’t dance “a little bit,” and express regret at having been disappointed in their pleasure in consequence. And yet young men of the “ collar and cuffs ” stamp are very eligible young men, and ladies are apparently satisfied, although quietly disgusted. His conversation is stupid ; he himself gives one the idea of the “ missing link his dancing is about as graceful as that of an untrained elephant, and yet simply because he has been rude enough to force his objectionable company upon a lady, he must be tolerated at the expense of enjoyment. Women have latterly taken strenuous efforts to have their rights asserted in the outer world, but why do they not carry out their rights in the smaller scope of the ball-room, where, indeed, they should reign supreme ? Are they to allow themselves to be bustled through dance after dance by most unskilful partners, have their dresses torn, and run the risk of black eyes or severe bodily contusions, simply because “Mr. Collar and Cuffs” has elected they shall do so ? Nonsense, ladies of Gisborne! For the future carry your own pencils. Don’t let every Jack-a-napes see your programme, as a prescriptive right. The annoyance is becoming intolerable, so I am told ; and, as its removal rests entirely with yourselves, metaphori-

cally “ stamp ont,” with your pretty little feet the nuisance of which you invariably complain. Of course, if a lady then elects to allow’ a gentleman to see her programme, the compliment will be all the greater. According to the present style, a lady has no option; her card is simply “ taken from her,” nolens volens, and without asking permission, dances are selected by youths of the “ collar and cuff ” brigade. Stick up for your rights ladies, and let it be seen that you are not to be coerced in this matter; make those who wish to engage you as a partner, understand that it is you who confer the honor, and not they ; and should you not care to gyrate the room, refuse them, courteously, of course, but firmly. There was some big fun on the night of the 24th ; and the old saying that the looker on sees most of the game, applied particularly to your humble servant. I did look on, and the more I looked the more I saw. The different styles of dancing were marked and recognizable. One of the first to catch my eye was a w’ell-built Volunteer, dancing with a diminutive, but graceful lassie, in what may be termed the “ come under my plaidie ” style ; that is to say, her head was nestled closely to his shoulder. Then there was the “ touch me not, my name’s temptation ” mode. In this a lady, tall and slim, kept her partner at a most “ respectful ” distance, and the couple appeared to be doing the “ measured mile,” more at their own individual risk than as if their movements were combined. I don’t know much about dancing, but I certainly like the style some few’ adopted and which is known by the name of “ Johnny come closer.” When I say I like it, of course a great deal depends upon w’hom my partner might be. With some of them I should prefer the “ touch me not,” but with others, the “ Johnny come closer ” w’ould be more enjoyable, 1 have no doubt. The different types of dancing, the dresses of the ladies, and a dozen and one other tittle items, I may on some future occasion discourse on.