HOW DO THEY DO IT?

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume IX, Issue 933, 9 April 1881, Page 2 (Supplement)

HOW DO THEY DO IT?

(From the H. Z. Mail). How do they do it ? How do they keep up a constant ripple of chit-chat with the fellows who fancy spooning at the bars the acme of manly relaxation ? It. is part of the unwritten contract between publicans and barmaids, that the latter shall have a smile and cheery word for every customer wlio looks' as if he expected it, even for the veriest guffawing buffoon or baboon who calls for a soda and brandy, or even a threepenny beer, and the strain on the inventive faculties and good humored dispositions of the fair Hebes must be severe. I know one w r ho takes refuge in asking riddles, and she’s made one do active duty for three weeks, and it still amuses the haw-haw swells who flutter round her shrine. It’s old and silly, but a fair sample of what pleases the rising youth and intelligence of the day—Here it is—“ Hoys never have it ; girls have it once. Poor Miss Phillips had it twice in the same place. So did Miss Hill, but she lost it when she married Mr. Smith. Miss Louisa has a very large one, and cannot get rid of it. What is it?” The fallows say, “By Jove, awfully clever, ha, ha! Egad it’s good,” and they attempt feeble witticisms and little jokelete and pretend they are amused immensely; and : -the Hebe’s purpose is served, and let us hope the landlord’s also. But, ah me 1 What intellectuality in this nineteenth century.