LADIES' EXPRESS.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume III, Issue 228, 5 December 1874, Page 2

LADIES' EXPRESS.

fZ’Ae Editor will f e glad to </ii e • Harris on to any local contributitmx f um kia lady friend* that may be considered interestiny in th* family or to the nex yenrraKy.}

THE LITTLE FLIRT.

I know a little laughing maid, Free as lhe fawn in forest giiule, As laiiy tread her step is li jit, Her eye it ever aparklrs bright. So sweet and stinlike is her smile, You needs must- linger for awhile, To give th«* tribale to its rays, VVhieh gallantry to beauty pays. So loving is her artless way, Entranced you pause in amorous play ; And drink in fair bLy-ian fields The draught that, opening love e’er yields. And thus the happy hours glide past, Whilst love beams in rarh glance that's cast; And visions in the dep h of night Bring her fair form before the sight. But hive a care and pray beware The gale that s burning tiirough the air, And lingering ’midst her flowing hair, Is not more fickle than this fair. As horn’d bee sips the luscious sweets From each and ev’ry fl-»w'r it. meets, So she—in jest—will ne'er refuse To smile on ev’ry one that woo*. F.J.P. Gisborne Nov., 1874. IMPROVEMENTS IN LADIES’ DRESS. The extravagance and asserted unhealthiness of the present style of feminine atiire is arousing grave discussion on the other side of the Atlantic, and a society in Boston, the “Biston Women’s Club,” is seriously considering alteration* aud improvements therein. At a recent secret meeting several of the members brought forward paper patterns and models of plainer aud more wholesome costumes to add weight to their lectures on (he subject. One lady had invented a contrivance for lifting the weight of the garments off the waist, and also a “ form improver.” stated to be rich iu buttons, straps, and cordage. Another showed a family of dolls “charmingly and h vgienicall v ” dressed, from a toddling baby to a full matron, to illustrate her theory, but the gem of the inventions was a waterproof “adjunct,” by which, according to the inventor, the wearer would be able to ford a river without wetting even the “ruffles of her underskirts.” Tae hearers were reported to hare been most attentive and enthusiastic, but whether they will be as ready to “ do ” as to “ hear” is quite another matter. — Graphic.

ABOUT THOSE APPLES.

The old conundrum about the number of apples eaten by Adam and Eve iu th© Garden of Eden has started on another our. We are sorry that the answer has n-ver been correc ly given, making the results as follow : —Eve 8 and Adam 2, a total of 10, only. Now, we figured the thing out differently long ago, but, through exceeding modesty, never proclaimed the result, which is now given:—Eve 8 and Idam 8 also; total 16.— Boston Journal. We think th? above figures are entirely wrong. If* Eve 8, ami A<lam 82; the t >tal will be9o. Scientific men, however, differ. On*the strength of* the theory t tat the antediluvians were a race of gi mts, and consequently great eaters, they reason something lik* this:—Eve 81st, and Adam 82; total, 163. — Gfou,ce>tter Advertiser. Wrong ajain ! What could be clearer than if Eve 8-1, and Adam 8-1 2, the total was 893.— Lawrence Am rican. Though the mystery seems inexplicable to others, we are satisfied we have the true solution in that Eve 81. and Adam 8,124 company, miking a grand total of 8,2 >s— Border City Herald. We have a German friend who says that before Eve commenced eating Adam ate “nein.” Tnis makes a total of 8.211.— San Francisco News Letter. We are as’onished at. the limited acquaintance with (he simplest rules of arithmetic shown by our contemporaries. We figure it out thus:—Eve 81i Ist, and Adam 8,121 company. It then follows, “ as the night the day,” the total is 8,395. — Fact* and Figures. We suppose Facts and Figures thought this settled the question. Unfortunately for him, however, our contemporary is wrong in both facts and figures. First for his facts. If Eve ate one first, how could Adam have ate one too for company? Now to show that his figures are wrong too, here is our solution : Eve ; 81 ; Adam then 8121) but that man is an imi a'ive animal. This makes the total 81,321. — The Western Settler. Brother Jonathan appears to have had a pretty good innings at this conundrum, but I think he has altog.qher failed in solving it. What can be plainer than this?— Eve 812 ascertain the flavor, and thus gratify the natural curiosity of her sex ; Adam 81242 reasons. In the first p'acj he was desirous of knowing what was tue taste of the fruit, and in the second place he was anxious to gratify his “missus,” by following tbe example she had set him. This gives a grand total of 82/’5L — Correspondent of South Australian Advertiser. Very good. Our correspondent has not made a bad attempt to wrest the laurels from our American courius ; but we have given a little thought to the matter, and have come to the conclusion that even he is a few hundreds of thousands out in his calculation. What does he say to our solution? When saw Adam wistfully eyeing the fruit, she 8124-stall him. Adam then 81221D-fy himself for the battle of life, which Eve, when she had eaten hers, told him was inevitably before him. Th? total uunibi r eaten was, therefore, 82 ),361. — South A ustralian Adrrrtiser. Not quite correct yet, for we think Adam 81212P-fy him-s-4f. which, added to Eve’s 8124 makes a total of 8,132.361. — Launceston Examiner. —Wrong again! Eve 8143, because she was naughty; and if Adam 8124240-fy himself, the total number must have been 8,132.380. — Sydney Evening News.— Our contemporaries are a long way bel »w the score. W? figure it thus; —Eve 81120-fy reasons, first to gratify an unlawful appetite, and secondly to know m ire than was good far her; hence if Adam 8124210-fy himself, the correct total would be 8,201,660.-AVicZeaZ<fW Herald. Not nearly reached the number; f.>r when Adam 8124210-fy himself, Eve not to be outdone 8124909 days consecutively, which shows the total number of apples eaten must have been 16.219,119.— Tara~ naki Herald. The maximum is hardly arrived at yet. Try this:—Eve, one of 3,811(5t),4240-fy herself ; Adam, another of the W£o-4-2(n)83.812,4402-ude; totnl, 142.376.238,642 -Poverty Bay Standard

The day of high-heeled boots am fashionable cripples appears to be a length passing away. The new kind of shoe, wnich fashion ordains to be worn, lias a wide and not high heel, and thus affords a reasonable amount of support to the wearer. Tais shoe is called “La Vallidre,” and is a revival of a fashion of the days of Louis XVI. A SWIMMING race between “ lalies ” took place lately at Blackroek, near Dublin, in the presence of a er< w 1 of spectators, who lined the bank for a quarter of a mile. The only event was a hundred yards race, which was won by a Miss Hounds, a Miss Adelaide Dixon a length behind, securing second place. The ladies, however, for the diversiou of the spectators, added to the attraction of the day by taking “ headers ” and “ long dives,” and “playing a thousand pranks in the water.” This is said to have been the first public swimming competition by ladies that has taken place in Ireland, and for the sake of the country it is to be hoped it will be the last also.