LADIES’ EXPRESS.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume III, Issue 227, 2 December 1874, Page 2

LADIES’ EXPRESS.

\Tlie Editor will be rjlad. to ffire insertion to any local contributione from his lady friends that may be considered interesting in the family circle, or to the sex generally.']

LOVE'S PHsLOSOPIIY.

The fountains tninglr with the river, And the river with the ocean ; The winds of heaven mix for ever With n sweet emotion. Nothing in the world is single ; All things, by a law divine, In one another's being mingle,— Why not I with thine ?

See the mountains kiss high heaven, Ami lite waves clasp one anol tier; No leaf or flower would be forgiven. If it disdain'd to kiss its brother. See the sunlight ciksps the earth, And the moonbeams kiss the sea, — What are all these kissings worth If thou kiss not me ?

It isn’t always best to call things by their right names. A young gentleman called a coach dog a Dalmatian hound, and was informed by his fianede that if he could not refrain from profanity in her presence they must henceforth bo strangers.

Marital Committees. — A Western paper chronicles a marriage in this suggestive style : —“ The couple resolved themselves into a committee of two, with power to add to their number.”

A man talking to a woman irrationally concludes that he must adopt quite a different tone to that which he would take if lie were conversing with a being of the same gender as himself. He is uncertain as to what vein he should strike, and it is this uncertainty which sooften brings him to grief. Vapid small-talk is invariably his sheet-anchor, and as the conventional small-talk of to-day is rather calculated to keep people asunder than to bring them together, it is not surprising that she to whom it is addressed does not warmly respond to his overtures. His miserable string of trite compliments, exhausted, and he having nothing further to say upon things in general and the state of the barometer and the thermometer in particular, the position in which he is placed is, indeed, a pitiaole one. By the way, what an infliction it must be for any sensible woman to listen to half the clumsy flattery which is addressed to her by unhappy wretches who are literally saturated with the idea that it is their duty to praise her in as many neat and pretty figures of speech as their muddled brains can coin. It is bad enough for her to hear these things from noodles who blunder owing to their ignorance; it is almost intolerable for her to listen to them when they are addressed to her by men old enough to know better, and who evidently take great pride in exhibiting their folly. Fan Flirtations. —When a lady uses her fan from inward, from space to the body, it means that she is not engaged. If, however, this inner movement is made by fanning in a downward direction, it means she is a widow; if in an upper direction, that she has never been married. A closed fan held upright means “ shut up.” An open fan, resting on the breast, means “ silence.” A closed fan, presented to you horizontally, means an invitation to dance; presented by the small end, means you are a Jerusalem zoological; with one leaf open, “friendship;” two open leaves, “ sympathy ;” three, “ love and passion.” A ‘'talking fan” should be composed of seven leaves, tocorresponpond with the seven days of the week. A circular movement of the fan means “ we are engaged." Spelling may be done with it when the bearer is certain of her spelling.