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Poverty Bay Standard, Volume I, Issue 41, 5 April 1873, Page 3

Pawnbrokers prefer customers without any redeeming, qualities. J / Geography on ’Change. — Portly Stockjobber (gloomily) : “ Those bonds are down again! It appears the Americans have taken umbrage ’’Stumpy Ditto: “The deuce they have! Whereabouts is that ?”!!—PaacA. “ Humble Pie.”—Mr. Bull: "Humble pie again, William ? You gave me that yesterday.” Head Waiter: “Yes, sir—no sir. That were Geneva humble pie, sir. This is Berlin humble pie,-sir!!”— Punch,

The danger of extempore prayer, says a writer in Belgravia, is, that it may degenerate in the ludicrous. Take, for example, the case of the elder who was invited to pray bn the day after a battle, and who said, “ O Lord, “ I never see such a day as it was yesterday, and I don’t believe you ever did !” Or take the case of the minister giving praise at harvest time. “Wq thank thee, O Lord, for thy great bounty,’ said he ; “we thank the for fine weather; we thank thee for the bountiful harvest, and that thou hast enabled us to gather in the wheat throughout all this district r-Mvith the exception of Farmer Mills’ little three-cornered patch down in the hollow, not worth noticing.” Dean Ramsey, if I remember rightly —tells a yet better story of the same kind. A Highland minister having been requested by his flock to pray for better weather, being at the same time warned to be cautious in presenting his petition, because the last time he had prayed for better weather, it had become worse, thus expressed himself: —“ An noo, Lord, I hae a petition to present, but I mean to be unco wary o’ the wording o’t. Ye ken Lord, the kittle state the craps are in. Just send us a sloughin’, southern, dreein’ breeze, an ’ll save the strae, and winna harm the heed ; for if you send a tearin’, reevin’, thunderin’ storm, as ye did the last time I prayed for gude weather, ye’ll pay the very mischief with the aits, and fairly spil a’.”

One hour lost in the morning by lying in bed will put back all the business of the day ; one hour gained by rising early is worth a month of labor in the year ; one hole in the fence will cost ten times as much as it will to fix it at once ; one diseased sheep will spoil the whole flock ; one unruly animal will teach all others in company bad tricks, and, as the Bible says. “One sinner destroys much good;” one drunkard will keep a family poor, and make them miserable; one wife that is always telling how fine her neighbour dresses, and how little she can get, will look pleasanter if she talks about something else ; one husband that is penurious and lazy, and deprives his family of necessary comforts such as others enjoy, is not as desirable a husband he ought to be; one good local newspaper is one good thing in every family.