Thank you for correcting the text in this article. Your corrections improve Papers Past searches for everyone. See the latest corrections.

This article contains searchable text which was automatically generated and may contain errors. Join the community and correct any errors you spot to help us improve Papers Past.

Article image
Article image
Article image
Article image
Article image
Article image

HUMOROUS CLIPPINGS.

“ Excuse this bit of sarcasm,” said Smith to' Jones, “ but I must say that you are an infamous liar and scoundrel.” “Pardon this bit of irony,” said Jones to Smith, as he knbked him oVer with a poker. , Landlady (to boarder who has passed his cup six times) : “You are very fond of,coffee, Mr Smith," Mr Smith : “ Yes, ma’am, it looks as ,if I was, when l am willing to swallow so much water’for the sake of getting a little.” . . . An actuary gave a student tlie following advice: How to become practically acquainted with the “ rule of three.” Live with your,jwife, mother, and mother-in-law.

Scene—Eaton square. Date 2 p.m., Christmas Day, 1882. Enter poor relation. Rich relation, loq. : “So glad you have come ear - !}’, because we dine at six to-day for the sake of the servants, so I shan’t have to send you away before we have had a ;chat.” ' Anylice : “If you’ve come to dinner, you’ve made a mistake.” A Frenchman praising an old lady for her beauty, she said that beauty was incompatible with age ; to which he artfully replied, “ We say as beautiful as an angel, and yet the angels are very antique.”

Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/PATM18830420.2.34

Bibliographic details

Patea Mail, Volume VIII, Issue 1024, 20 April 1883, Page 3

Word Count
198

HUMOROUS CLIPPINGS. Patea Mail, Volume VIII, Issue 1024, 20 April 1883, Page 3

HUMOROUS CLIPPINGS. Patea Mail, Volume VIII, Issue 1024, 20 April 1883, Page 3

Help

Log in or create a Papers Past website account

Use your Papers Past website account to correct newspaper text.

By creating and using this account you agree to our terms of use.

Log in with RealMe®

If you’ve used a RealMe login somewhere else, you can use it here too. If you don’t already have a username and password, just click Log in and you can choose to create one.


Log in again to continue your work

Your session has expired.

Log in again with RealMe®


Alert