NOTES AND ECHOES.

Patea Mail, Volume VIII, Issue 1001, 23 February 1883, Page 2

NOTES AND ECHOES.

Our .new Inspector is a facetious character. In voice, action, and appearance he is an old soldier, and in commandihejis'a bat at the same time he is naturally a wag, arid it mast be a difficult.matter for the rank-and-file to preserve their, .coante-. v , nances while he is" addressing them,. At last evening’s parade he impressed upon the men the caution to be observed f when told to order arms. By carelessly dropping a loaded rifle- on to a stone they might blow their heads off and hear the report of their' own 1 death. But it takes Captain-Taplin to tell his men straight what he thinks of them, and his frankness has made them very attentive to his instructions. • He addressed them somewhat as follows, last evening: “ Men, Major Stapp, who is about to inspect you, r paid .a 1 great compliment to the Wanganui men the other day. He said they were a fine body of men ; but* I believe you are 1 a finer 1 (Load applause among the men who showed how emphatically they, agreed with the speaker.) But there was one thing - *. particularly Major. Stapp was; gratified ' with the Wanganui men for, namely, non-talking in the ranks. We have not been so careful that way. We sometimes talk in the '-'ranks; and even—swear.” (Renewed thumping of rifles and murmured “ -ear, ’ears.”) > Writing of facotiousness, I have came'across the effusions of a Dunedin lawyer, which cannot well be excelled. As a rule, business communications from lawyers consist more of the nature of concealed threats than raillery. However, recently, Chinese resurrectionists have been busy in Dunedin collecting the bones of their defunct'countrymen to be sent to their native land. One corpse was missing from its burialplace, and the Chinese on enquiry learning that it had found its way to the University, consulted a well-known solicitor! who indites a letter as follows * r to the University authorities : The almond-eyed bearer of this epistle has undertaken to achieve the translation of sundry defunct kinsmen to the happy land of Pon-Yu, province of Canton. Some slumbered in the Northern and some i n the Southern Cemetery, buYtheyffiaye all been “ raised,” and now lie (strongly bound in teak) awaiting their departure per sailing ship. But one of the baqd.lf missing, and his brethren cannot leave him to languish alone in the land of .the barr barian. It is fondly fancied that he is “bellied” at the University, but I more than suspect that his mortal remains have been sacrificed on the altar of science. He was known in the days of his flesh as Ah Ohook, and laboured in his vocation . as a peripatetic vendor of vegetables, humble : - but happy T , with a pronounced taste for . opium and petty larceny. But de moriuis , &c. He is now a copper-coloured shade, haunting the purlieusoorf r the University and the adjacent - sewer-in a fruitless search for the disjecta, or rather the dissecta membra, of his whilom self. Pray hand .over to bearer as much of the late Mr Chook as is still on (he premises,- and . for mercy’s sake maintain the pious fiction of the “ bellial ”at the University.' ; ■■ ■- P.S.—I may add that 1 the bones are essentials, and further that the average Chinaman is not an Janatomist. Verb, sap. ■■■■'• 1 u ' Publicans have strong powers to con- . < tend against now-a-days, in having to confront a phalanx of Blue Ribbonists or a vigilance committee. The. hotelkeepers have much to be thahkiaiNlf for, as will be seen by a note in these words, a copy of which has been sent to.each : bf them: — “ Feilding, 5-2-83. Sir, Take notice that a committee has been formed by the temperance bodies of Feilding, for enforcing, the-■ prohibitory clauses of the 'Licensing Act. — R. Fennell;” This is a run- 1 yon-in billet deoux if you. like. Then. „ in a Christchurch paper I find a “ Con-, science” advertisement.... It runs thus': \XTANTED, for Christchurch, Publicans’/ V V whoso Brewers and Merchants will become Responsible for any Social ox v Domestic Misery • arising from -in cautions ‘ Sale of Intoxicating Liquor to Habitual Drunkards. ■ ’ ToDYi'