CURE FOR RHEUMATISM.

Patea Mail, 21 April 1881, Page 4

CURE FOR RHEUMATISM.

The following prescriptions, if all tried at once should not fail to end the sufferings of persons troubled with rheumatics; —“ Sleep with your head toward the north. Wear a chest protector. Take nitrate of potash, nitrate sodium, nux vomica. Sleep with a big dog. Use magnetism, galvanism, bromide of ammonium, iodine of ammonium. Put on mustard plasters, Spanish-fly plasters, bromide of potassium, iodide of potassium, lemon juice, sage tea. Wear sulphur in your shoes; carry a piece of sulphur in your vest pocket. Try hard rubbing, oleate of mercury, common soda, capsicum, Radway’s Ready Relief. Wear silk, white flannel, red flannel, buckskin. Take gin and hemlock, Reynold’s Specific. Make a necklace of the knots produced by the sting of an insect on Golden Rod, and wear it next the skin. Exercise and keep it off. Keep as quiet as possible. Take colchium, morphine, Angel’s Rheumatic Gum, carbolic acid ; soft soap bandaged with flannel will do. Do not eat meat; do not eat eggs or potatoes. Eat anything yon please. Do not smoke at all; smoke as much as you like. Take camphor. Drink nothing but beer. Do not drink anything bnt whisky. Drink no ardent spirits. Keep in the house. Take a ride out whenever yon can. Carry a piece of alum in your pocket. Take Turkish baths. Avoid the Turkish bath. De Soto spring water is great. So is acetate of potash and burdock seed. Bathe in hot water with pearlash in it. Bathe in cold water frequently. Do not bathe at all until you are nearly well. Dose catnip tea. Sleep next to flannel. Go to Arkansas Hot Springs! Go to Doolittle Springs, Richfield Springs, Sharon Springs, Hot Sulphur Springs—to Saratoga, Florida, to Bermuda, to the Sandwich Islands, to California, to the South of France, to Mexico, to the Azores, to South America. Wear a horse-chestnut in yonr left-hand breeches pocket. Wear a potato in the other. Take Constitution Water. Wrap joints with cotton, and cover with oiled silk. Get out on the praries. High land is the best for rheumatism. So is balm of Life and magnetic salve. Rub with kerosene; mustang linniment. Put on hop poultice. Apply hop ashes. Put mustard poultice over the heart. Drink Friedricshall bitter water. Put on slippery elm poultice. Eletric oil. If all these don’t cure try something else.” — Exchange.