THE POLITICAL “RAT.”

Patea Mail, Volume V, Issue 461, 24 September 1879, Page 2

THE POLITICAL “RAT.”

(New Zealand Times.) The legislative rat, which is mostly to be found about the House of Parliament, differs somewhat from the other members of that family, but is in many respects very similar in its habits. The Parliamentary rat is much addicted to sitting on a rail, if he can’t secure a good post—one with a good screw preferred. So partial is he to the latter, that he will leave no stone unturned in order to secure a lucrative seat in the Cabinet; but it is seldom a rat succeeds in gaining the luxury, as there is a big Grey cat there, who has no mercy on the poor House rat. Some time ago one did get in, and escaped awhile the claws of the Grey cat, who watched its little game for a time quietly, until it, not satisfied with getting at the tea and sugar, wanted to meddle with its master's beer. This was too much for the old Grey cat, so the poor rat had to abandon his design on the beer and retire to his corner, where he sat trying to look like “ little Jack Horner,” but couldn’t. Finally this poor rat got the kick-out of the Cabinet, and now wants to form a party of his own species and assume the office of Premier, and give nice little “at homes” and “carpet hops” where the ball would be opened by the “ Rats’ Quadrille,” the guests being requested to come on foot, as traps are considered

dangerous. Tho political rat has the! advantage of the leopard, as be can change his spots ; and does, going over to the “ other side” when he has picked up all the crumbs on the side of the Hons* he has been occupying hitherto. He likes to be thought the “ poor man’s - ’ and “ small farmer’s ” friend, but the poor man ami the small farmer have too little to give away to satisfy the rapacity of the rat political, whoso appetite is like that of the horse-loecti—never satisfied. He has a fine instinct for danger, and tries vigorously to leave a falling Cabinet before the crash, but has been known to try and get back again when the danger passed, and the safety of the concern was assured for a while longer. Many of them are of considerable size, but are not considered dangerous; they are usually caught in their own nets, and frequently perish through being “ left out in the cold,” or getting “ up a tree.” The Brown rat comes from Tuapeka tho country’s expense), whilst the largest of the tribe is said to have lately deserted Raugitikci and gone back to Wanganui, where be met an old Fox, whom he managed to beat after n hard tn«°l“The odds were two to one against the Fox, who lost the day through going straight and in full view, whilst his opponent “ did the block ” on tiie sly, and got as many as be ponld to join him in worrying tho old favourite, whose only fault seems to have been his aversion for rats, and his plain way of saying so. Some people think we are well rid of the Fox, but others think we might have got something better than a “rat” in exchange,