TRAMP’S VISIT.

Patea Mail, Volume IV, Issue 342, 27 July 1878, Page 2

TRAMP’S VISIT.

With yonr permission, Mr Editor, I will write on a few of the lending topics of the day. Being a stranger in Carlyle, [ was invited hy a friend to sec the lions of this far-famed city. First and foremost—the weather. Wonderful to relate,, they till me we have had' southerly winds for the last few days, brimring with them sunshine and a genera Idry ing up of the lakes and wells in the main street,. I hoar the Town Board are going to hold a large auction, sale of boots, shoes, stockings, socks, &c., at an early date. It appears that the man employed to repair the road has found' innumerable quantities of the ahovo-rm’ntioncd articles in the mud holes, deposited hy some too venturesome and unsuspecting unfortunates, in their frantic struggles to gain the opposite side of the road. With a friend,. I went to hear the Debating Class, and must say was very “ agreeably” surprised as to the. conversational powers of some of the members. I noticed the ladies were particularly icarm on the discussion, as they sat round the fire, tricketing, tatting, and crocheting; I also noticed with others we were out in the cold. On one of the

learned gentlemen trying to persuade them that England’s coal was nearly exhausted, the ladies nestled more closely to the fire, and cast an imploring lobk at the Secretary or Treasurer to pile it on. My next visit was at the Riaking Club. I was astonished at the case and grace displayed in endeavoring to test if the flooring was sound, and its capability of standing severe attacks from the human frame. I was amused at a conversation which took place theie. Ist rinker (excitedly) “I say, Tom, did you see that spill I got.” 2nd rinker “ no; did you hurt yourself.” Ist rinker “no fear ; came down on the softest part of my body.” 2nd rinker “ What, on your head !” (tableau). 2nd rinker glids gracefully away. The impression I formed of skating was that it is the most hypocritical amusement in existence, for your very best friends laugh and rejoice at your downfall.

With gentle persuasions my friend induced me to see a Football match. Like the riaking, my impression of that game was not very favorable. What struck me as very peculiar was, that it seemed that eacli of the players were determined not to use the feet for kicking purposes, but to clasp the ball as tightly as possible to their stomachs and call down. I cannot yet imagine why they call the game football. 1 admit 1 caught a glimse of tile ball once or twice, when one of the players grew weary of trying to knock all the wind out of the bladder and himself, and actually kicked at the hall or someones shins. If ever I enter into the spirit of the game sufficiently to play in a match, 1 will take a farewell parting with my relations and friends (a la Blondin at the Crystal Palace); and if 1 have any sons I consider a burden to me, I will instruct them how to play this heroic game, so that they may meet a foot-bally grave. In conclusion, I expect shortly to visit this thriving Township again, as I intend to speculate in one or two town sections on the R.M. Reserve—if the figure be not too high. I heard a man of fertile brain say some of the sections would realise from £8 to £lO a foot. If so, I must give up all idea of settling here, and invest in a pack-horse, leave the colony, and go to Woodville via Kakaramea and Canvass Town. TRAMP.