VOTES FOR SCHOOLS.

Patea Mail, Volume IV, Issue 336, 6 July 1878, Page 4

VOTES FOR SCHOOLS.

The following is a list of the recommendations contained in the Inspector’s report discussed at the last meeting ot the Wanganui Education Board. The merit of each application received attention, and finally the Board resolved to expend the following amounts : Varakina £2OO, for various requisites and repairs: Brunswick £250, for teacher's residence; Upokongaro £IOO, for converting the old sohoqlhouse into a teacher's residence ; Upokongaro £250; for now schoolhouse ; West Rangitikei £SO; Wangnehu, £80; Porcwa, £250, to be supplemented by anything the committee can subscribe. Crofton and Stoney Creek are each to have £250 for new teacher’s residence, out of next year’s estimates. Marton, £250; Turakina Valley, £100; South Makirikiri, £l3 j Parawauui, £2O; Lower Rangitikei, £l5O ; Foxton, £300; Mouloa, £2O ; Karere, £250; Palmerston North, £2O; Stoney Creek, £10; Taunui, £250; Awahuri £230, teacher s residence, conditionally on site being procured ; Halcombe £2O, for sundries; Fielding, £250.; Sandon, £80; Greatford, £ls; Crofton, £10; Mount View, £25; Upper Tutaenui, £200; Glen Nevis, £25 ; Mars Hill, £25; Matarawa, £125 ; Denlair, £ls ; Kaitoke, £ls ; Maxwelltown, £IOO ; Kohi ( Waverlcy) £250, for teacher’s residence, in addition to £l5O passed at the last meeting ; and Waitotara £250. JOSH BILLINGS’ ANIMAL LORE. THE MONKEY. Monkeys iz only valuable tew look at, and wonder what in thunder he iz a going tew do next. He haz not got a Webster head, but hiz face iz a biled down dew-drop ov malishus cunning. • He resembles the skye terrier in the bild ov hiz features, and skratches hiz head az natural as the school-boy. They are sum times kept az pels, but if any boddy should pet me with a monkey, i should send him right back bi the same person who brought him. THE THOUGHTFUL FOX. The fox is a literary bird ; he waz a genius long before akodemick honours flourished ; he waz a poet, skoller, and sage, before the days ov Homer and Herodotus : and in our times he iz the Ben Butler ov diplomacy, and the Brigham Yung ov matrimonial ethicks. The fox haz no moral honesty, but. he liaz got a grate supply ov pohtiLal honesty. If another fox in hiz parish wants a good phatt goose he will work hard tow git him the goose ; and having cleaned the meat all oph from the 'subburbs ot the goose, giv hiz politikal friend the hones, telling him, with a smile in hiz eye, “ that everything iz lovely , and the goose hangs hi. v THE NATRAL HORNET. The hornet hiz a red-hot child ov natnr of sudden impreshnns, and a sharp kouklusion. The hornets alwus fites at short range, and never argy a case, they settle all ov their disputes bi letting their javelin fly, and are az certain an az anxious tew hit az a mule iz. Hornets bild their nests wherever they take a noshun to, and seldem are asked to move; for what good is it tew murder 99 hornets, and have the one hundred one hit yo with hiz javelin ? I kan’t tell you jist tew a day how long a hornet kan live, but I kno from experience that every bug, be ho hornet or sumboddy else who iz mad all the time, and stings every good chance he kan git, generally outlives all ov his nabors. THE FROMISCUSS COCKROACH. The cockroach iz one ov the luxurys ov civilizashun. The cockroach iz born on the fust, of May and the fust of November semi-annually, and iz reddy for use in fifteen days form date. They arc born four from each egg, and consequently they are all twins; there iz no sich thing in the annals ov natur az a single cockroach. Their food seems to consist not so mutch ov what they eat az wat they kan git into ; and often finding them clod in the soup, at mi boarding house, I have cum tew the painful conciushun that the cockroach kan’t swim, but that he can float for a long time. THE UNIVERSAL SWINE. The swine (almost always) hav four legs, tho thare iz sum remarkable exceptshims to this rule. Swine are good quiet hoarders; they alwais eat what iz sot before them, and don’t ask enny phoolish questions. The Swine kan be land a great menny amusing things, sich az highsting the front gate oph from the hinges, and finding a hole in tho fence to got into tho cornfield ; but it iz dreadful hard work for them, tew find the same hole tew get out at, espechily 'if yu are in a hurry to. hav them. This haz never bin fully explained, but speaks vollums ' for the swine. Swine kan all root well ; a swine that kant root well iz a noor job. . - ‘ THE BELLICOSE GOAT. The goat iz a coarse wollen sheep, 1 with a cracked voice and a sanguine digestion. They had rather steal a rotten turnip out ov a garbage barrell then cum honestly bi a peck of oats. They strike from the head insted ov the shoulder, and are azTikely tew hit the mark az a bumblebee iz. They are faithful kritters in the hour ov adversity, a ltd will stick tew a man az long az\ he lives fit a shanty. They ken klimb eyfjthing but a greased pole, and are alwus poor in the boddy. "What they flat

seems tew all go tew appetigbt. A phatt goat would be a literary curiosity. THE MELODIES CAT. The cat hath bin called a domestik aniuiile, but i never could tell whyfore. All thare iz donmstix about a cat iz, yvi kant loze one ; they are as tuff to loze az a bad reputashun iz. Yu may send one out ov the state done up neatly in a moal-bag, and the next morning you will find him alongside ov the kitchen stove, reddy tew be stepped on. Thare iz only one thing about a cat that i like, ami that iz, they are very reasonable ; a little money, well put, will go a grate way in cats. Cats are very plenty in this world just now. I counted 18 from mi boarding bouse wiudo one moon lite nite last summer ; and it want the best kind ov a nite for cats neither. THE BRINY CODFISH. The codfish iz the fruit ov tho oshun, which accounts for their being so salt. They are good eating for a wet day ; they are better than an umbreller to keep a man dry. They want a good deal oy freshning before they arc eaten, and want freshning a good deal afterwards. If I can have plenty ov codfish for breakfas, i can generally manage tow make the other two meals out of cold water. THE FREQUENT FLY. The fly iz not only a domestik critter, but a frendly one. How they get born i don’t kno, but i hav thought they didn’t wait tew be born ? but just conic as they am. Menny of them are cut oph in the flower of their youth and usefulness. Sum loze their lives by lighting too near the rim ov a toad’s mouth, and fall in when the toad gaps. Thousands find a watery grave, bi getting drowned in milk-cans. Flys morally considered are like other human beings ; they wont light on a good helthy spot in a man, not if they kan find a place that iz a little raw. I believe they are ov temperate habits, and altho they hang around grocerys a good deal, i never saw* a fly the wnss for liquor, but i hav often seen liquor that waz a good deal the wuss for flys. THE READDY ROOSTER. Roosters are the pugilists among birds, and having no suitable shoulder tew strike from, they strike from the heel. When a rooster gits whipped the hens all march off with the other rooster, if he aint haff so big, or so hansum. It is pluck that wins a hen. Roosters az a class wont do enny household work; yu kant git a rooster tew pay enny attenshun to a ynngono. They spend most ov their time in crowing and strutting ; and once in a while they find a worm, which they make a grate fuss over, calling their wives up from a distance, apparently tew treat them, but jist az the hens git thare this elegant cuss bends over and gobbles up the worm, A PROFANE PARROT. A Boston family lias a remarkably intelligent parrot* which repeats nearly everything it hears, and which some bad boys have taught to swear awfully. It finally did little talking except of a profane character, and to cure its propensity was repeatedly soused in cold water and placed near the stove to dry. During a recent storm, some chickens which had become very wet and chilled were brought into the house and put by the stove to revive them. It so happened that the parrot had just been ducked himself, and, after surveying the chickens for some time, he cried out in oracular tones: “ Little d fools, been swearing !” ■ 1 The Wellington Post, referring to the reported changes in Resident Magistrate’s throughout the Colony, says—“ We have the authority of the Government for asserting that tho statements in the telegram are entirely without foundation. The real state of the case is this :—The Government do not contemplate dismissing any of the Resident Magistrate’s who are not lawyers. In one or two instances Resident Magis--1 Gate’s who are over age will retire on their pensions, and their places will be filled by younger men, who, if possible, will be qualified legal practitioners. The Government recognise the advisability of conferring such appointments on trained lawyers, and in filling up vacancies this will be kept in view. The Government also desire to extend the District Court system wherever advisable, and in the case of the people of any district desiring the sittings of such a Court to be held, the request will have duo consideration. But in so extending the District Court system, it is not con-, templated to disiaense with the Resident Magistrate’s Courts which now exists in various.parts of the Provincial Districts. Nor is it intended, at present, to strike off the roll those J.P.’s who do not attend to their magisterial duties. It is quite possible, however, that a step in this direction* may ultimately be taken, in the ease of the drones who now encumber the roll of the Commission of the Peace. The Wellington Chronicle says :—The following is the result of a test made at the Lion Foundry between West Wanganui coal and Newcastle coal ;—For Si hours’ steaming with West Wanganui coal, consumed 13 cwt 2 qrs 12 !b. Steams well ; free from clinkers ; no stoking required ; and leaves tubes and furnace free from dirt—burning away to a fine brown powder ash. For 8|- hours’ steaming with Newcastle coal, consumed 15 cwt B qrs 20 lbs ; steams well, leaving tubes dirty and a quantity of clinkers in the furnace. Constant stoking necessary to keep it going, .Thackeray described the kiss of etiquette as “■ a kiss which is like the contact of oysters.” Darwin believes that birds have religious distinctions. Hens probably belongpto the la-ity. Mrs Partington says Ike has bought a horse so spirituous that he always goes , 1 off in a decanter.