STEAM PIANO.

Patea Mail, Volume II, Issue 200, 10 March 1877, Page 2

STEAM PIANO.

“ Taiiitr,” writing in the Australasian, says;—“ Last week, in enumerating tin* things to be seen and heard at the Circus, 1 omitted to speak of the steampiano. This is a great invention, about the size of a traction engine. You can hear its music a long way off—seven;! miles ; and when yon hear it, no matter how far you are from it, you wish vou weio still further away. It is one of those things to which distance lends, if not enchantment, certainly bearableness. Most people, in fact all people except deaf people, would prefer to hear it y about uO miles oil. When vou arc near* it, it gives you the notion that 20 or railways engines have gone mad, and arc wailing out their misery in a. locoinotive lunatic asylum. The wild beasts in the circus must have a bad time of it. At first, probably, it excited them a go 0 d deal, but afterwards, finding the steam-piano their destiny, they grew '■(' signed and melancholy. That, perhaps, is why they arc so tame. That is why the lions and tigers let Mr Johnson go among them, and that, is why they jump at his command over hurdles. The occupation diverts their minds info other channels, ami causes them for a while to foigettlie steampiano. I think such a musical instrument would clear any country of the most dangerous wild beasts. In India, for example, they might drive, all the tigers and snakes into the sea by a ju-diciously-regulated line of advancing steam-pianos, playing at the top of their cacophoninnsness. It could ho used m this country to disperse crowds; and any Government might retain office for ever by having one fixed in a convenient place near the Houses of Parliament, ready at any moment to (urn on steam in anticipation of an adverse vote. 1 do not know who was the inventor of this fearful piano, hut ho is unquestionably a groat man. Thunder is a child’s rattle to it; a cataract, a whisper: the roaring of the sea, a baby’s prut(le : and the howling of a hurricane. “;i still small voice.” It is unlike all other sounds that I have beard, or hope not to hear. It is appalling, umeoTbly, uncannv. if they have pianos ju Hades, ibis is how they play. It makes noises so different from all other noises that I think out of a feeling of perversity I should in time—a long time—come to like it. ami listen fm- it, ol a. night and be disappointed when I did not hoar if. 1 repeat that it is a wonderful invention.