DIFFICULTIES OF CONDUCTING A PAPER.

Patea Mail, Volume II, Issue 185, 17 January 1877, Page 3

DIFFICULTIES OF CONDUCTING A PAPER.

Tnk following amusing description of 1 lio difficulties of an editor wlio tries to please everybody, is from the hide•petulviti : A ■visitor at the office of the National Ihiplist, asked the editor where he should call lor Dr Dobbs, ho was infoinicl that, under our free constitution, lie might call for him anywhere, and as loud as he pleased. The following is the concluding- portion of a Leture hy the learned doctor, in which he describes a visit to an editor in 44 Antipode 4; Towards the dose of my last interview with the Antipode editor, anxious to get all the light I could 1 said to him : ‘ Do you have much success In trying to please everybody V Ho replied, ‘ Very.’ Said I: ‘ Don you always find that pept'ilo know, just wliat they want V yDßrTcplied by taking from a pigeon package of letters from complaining roadeis, and be road passages out of them. One wrote ; We want more articles discussing the fundamental doctrines of the Christianity and of denomination. Another; 4 We want more practical, short, religions articles.’ Another : ‘ You ought to have a sermon a week.’ Another: 4 Wc want stories for the children.’ Another: 4 Y'on must more news from churches, accounts of revivals, etc. That is the life of the paper.’ Another: £ We want more religious selections.’ Another said : 4 There must be more about the temperance question.’ Another : 4 I cannot take the paper unless it exposes the inicpiities of the Anti-Christian secret societies.’ Another: 4 We must have great antitobacco reform kept constantly before the public.’ Another: 4 We must have more for the farmer.’ Another: There must be more from the eastern section of the field.’ And another : ‘ The western section must have more space.’ Another: 4 The country pastors must not be ignored. Why do w-o have no sermons from the country ministers? Another: 4 What we want is a sermon every week from Spurgeon.’ 44 Meanwhile,” said the editor 44 no one wishes any less of any department, except tiiat all unite in regretting the space devoted to advertisements. On one point all were agreed. Each and several were of opinion that nothing would do the paper so much good as to phhlish “his” communication in full in the most prominent place. And no one offered any suggestion as to making the jiapcr ten times its proper size. 4 Well said I,’ £ what do you do in the premises ?’ £ l)o ?’ said lie, £ Why what can wo ■do, but fall on iEsop’s fables, improved, and amended, and enlarged tor the present time ?’ £ What do yon moan ?’ said I. 4 Why you remember the fable about the old man and his son, and the ass. You remember that first the old man rode while the sou walked. Then all the people cried : 4 Bee that lazy wretch riding, and making Ids poor little son walk.’ Bo the son rode and the father walked. Then the people said: 4 Bee that undntifnl whelp riding, while his gray-haired old father totters along on foot.’ So they got off and both walked. ■Hken the people said : 4 Oh ! what fools, V) walk while they have got a great strong ass to carry them.’ Then they botli got on and rode. And then the pcojde said : 4 Oh ! the cruel monsters, to overload that jsoor little ass.’ Then the lather and son took up the ass and carried him. And then the jicoplo shouted louder than over: 4 Oh ! do sec ! Carrying the ass in their arms !’ Finally the old man said to his son: ‘ My boy, it is no use to try to please them. Lot ns please ourselves.’ 4 Oh ! yes,’ said I; 4 1 remember that.’ 4 But do, yon know what became of the ass ?’ ho said. 4 No,’ said I, 1 Well, the ass became the editor of a. paper, and tried to please everyone, and to displease nobody.’