THINGS A MARRIED MAN CANNOT HELP THINKING.

Patea Mail, Volume II, Issue 112, 6 May 1876, Page 2

THINGS A MARRIED MAN CANNOT HELP THINKING.

That all girls used to be in love with him.

That all the widows are now. Tiiat if he were a widower, lie could marry again whenever he chose. That all the other fellows are fools. That he wouldn’t introduce any fellow he knew to Ins sister or his daughter. That his wife is a little jealous. That she used to he a pretty girl. That his mother could make good bread ; that his wife cannot. That he wouldn’t trust most women. That should lie ever speculate, he would make his fortune. That he would enjoy a country life. That his girls will never be so silly as to marry. That his mother-in-law may bo a Hue old lady, but That smoking never hurt a man yet. That with a little management the servants would always do well, and never give warning. That his shirt buttons are grossly neglected. That he is going to make his fortune some day. That he despises old bachelors, THINGS A MARRIED WOMAN CANNOT HELP THINKING. That she was very pretty at sixteen. That she had, or would have hg4r-' 1 great many good offers. That all her lady friends are five years older than they say they are. That she has a very fine mind. That if her husband had acted on her advice, he would be a rich man today.

That people think too much of that Miss , who would not be called handsome if she didn’t make herself up. That her mother-in-law is a very trying woman. That her sister-in-law takes airs, and ought to be put down. That her girls are prettier than Mrs A.’s girls. That she would like to know where her husband spends his evenings when ho stays out. That her eldest son takes after him. That he is going to throw himself away on Miss Scraggs. That Mis Scraggs set her cap for him, and did the courting. That her servant girls are the worst over known. That she has little taste in dress. That she has a good temper. That she pities old maids. Mary Kyrle, Dublin, in New York Ledger.