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Patea Mail, Volume I, Issue 102, 1 April 1876, Page 2

For some unexplained reason we received no telegrams hist evening. With whom the fault lay we cannot say, but merely record the fact in explanation. Possibly as it was the anniversary of the Province, a matter of so great rejoicing, it was thought by the Press Agency that telegraphic news were not required. We remind our early readers, our warning will probably come too tardily for the late ones, that this day is the Ist of April, or, in other words, All Fool's Fay, and we warn them not to he victims to the usuaj license of the occasion. Most curiously contrived plots were no doubt concocted last night, calculated to deceive the most cautious, and there will bo, without question, despite this monitory paragraph, a heavy crop of April fools and mushrooms this morning. Let us hope that those who fall victims may bear their discomfiture with good temper, and that, in following the humor of the da}', nothing like ill-temper maybe manifested. By. the arrival of the s. s. Egmont, Mr S. Taplin has received a supply of new cloversceds. Full particulars will be found in our advertising columns.

•The second year of the establishment ot the Paten District Land and Building Society ended yesterday, and, as a proof of the highly successful character of the business done during the past twelve months, the directors will be able to declare a dividend of ten shillings per share? a result that cannot be considered other than most satisfactory to the shareholders

We have on a previous occasion paid a deserved complim •nt to the class of work t 'rued out by Hamilton and Co., of Wanganui. Proofs of their ability have rcccnfy arrived in Patca in (lie shape of two handsome double-seated buggies, one of which has been purchased by Mr Williams, surveyor, and the other is in the keeping of Mr Williams, blacksmith. It was intended, we hear, to exhibit (hem at the recent show, hut they could not he sent up in time to compete. They are in every respect equal to the. heat imported article, and, in some respects, superior. Their manufacture shows what this portion of the colony is capable of, and we hope shortly to ho able, to record an equal triumph on the part of a more, nearly local linn. The vehicles are a credit to any builder or builders, whether constructed at the Antipodes, or in London. 'l’lie Genera! Manager of the Telegraph Department announces in our advertising columns that arrangements have been made both in the colony and at home, for the registration of abbreviated addresses, with a view to reducing as much as possible the cost of telegrams.

A sitting of the Resident 'Magistrate's Court was held on Thursday last, Major Turner presiding. The adjourned case of Taplin v. Gibson, a claim for wrongful storage, was resumed, to take. Captain Gibbon’s evidence, the extraction of which occupied the Court for upwards of two hours. It was aggravating to listen to the remarkable manner in which lie gave Ids evidence, one question, put by the plaintiff, taking something like a quarter of an hour to elicit a satisfactory reply. The evidence adduced is of no great interest to our subscribers, and consequently wo deem it (inadvisable to crowd mir columns with it. The case stands adjourned till Thursday next, when we understand both sides will he represented by counsel. •\ site has been reserved at 1 law-era for a Town Hall. Yesterday was (he- Hot hj anniversary of the Taranaki Province. The Post and Telegraph oflices closely observed Sunday hours, much to the inconvenience and annoyance of the general public.

We learn (hat the settlers of Ketennmie contemplate holding a public meeting to express their disapproval at, (he action of the Patea Education Board in establishing t.ieschoo’at such an ineonveni,nit distance from the main body of the children’s residences, and to urge upon the Board the desirability of removing the school building to a more convenient position. A sitting of the local justices will fake place on Thursday next, when the newlyenrolled J.P’s. will take their seats on the Bench for I ho first time. We would remind our readers that next. Friday and Saturday the Church of England Bazaar will beheld, in the new Town Hall. We hear that the goods to bo offered will he superior to any ever shown yet in this part of New Zealand on similar occasions, and that their cheapness will ho miraculous. The funds raised by this means are to he devoted to building a chancel to the existing Episcopalian Church. Fortunately in Paten, sectarian differences of opinion do not prevent various denominations from helping each other, and at tho bazaar of next week, we are quite sure that Church of Fngland, Wesleyan, Catholic,and Presbyterian, will ho found in cordial rivalry in forwarding the good work in view. A young lady lately explained to an editor the distinction between printing and publishing, and at tho conclusion of her remarks, by way of illustration, she said, 8 You may print a kiss on my check, hut yon must not publish it.” A Central News telegram states that Mr Prior, the special artist of the Ilhuttrated London News in Herzegovina, has been arrested as a spy by the Turks, while sketching fortifications.

A traveller round New Zealand, writing to the New Zealand Herald says—“ If the voyage has been ordinarily favorable, the next morning’s light brings (lie traveller hi sight of one of the most beautiful objects of which even New Zealand can boast —the majestic cone of Mount Fgrnont. Standing up before you and the as yet unrisen sun, its peak softened and otherialised by the morning light, you do not wonder that it should have obtained the reputation of being the most perfect volcanic mountain in the world. For a whole day we gazed upon its blended grandeur and beauty, its broad base frequently hidden by the redling clouds, while its peak stood out sharp and distinct against a blue sk} r , with patches of snow lying here and there in the ravines which otherwise would have been lost to vieiw ; and on the return voyage we watched it till the daylight faded, and sixty miles away it took on the consistence of the clouds that flouted round it, and seemed itself to be of their evanescent kindred. Its fascination was not broken till night shut out all but the few stars which through the flying western track, shone and disappeared.”

Last week Mr Frederick Coape Smith was fined £5 at the Prahran Police Court for having posted a newspaper with a direction written in ide, in addition to the ordinary outside address. The defendant pleaded ignorance of the law, staling that he had written the two addresses quite openly in the Post-ofliee, and the P mcli intimated that if applied to for a remission of the fun they would support Hit* memorial. Tire report of; (he cas >, a-; given in the Argun, is copied hy the Hobart Town Mercur//, which adds the following;—Mr Frederick Coape {Smith, the gentleman alluded to in the foregoing paragraph, and who appeared to be so ignorant of post-cilice rules, was post-master-general of Tasmania prior to the introduction of responsible go v ornmeiit, and at the present is in receipt of an animal pension of ,£KIO from the colony.

We observe from a Gisborne contemporary (says the Auckland Erming Shir), that Dr Pollen has commenced praetiee of the medical profession at Poverty Bay. It is not the Colonial Secretary, but bis nephew, who unfortunately for himself 1 rears the same name. Wo wish the young man success, hut the name is enough to damn him. We would recommend him to change it to Dr Bullen or Dr (.'alien or Dr Pulling or anything else, nr that at least he should add in parentheses (not the Colonial Secretary) like the (Limited) after the names of the Companies. [This is carrying opposition to extremes.]

A story, .says the. Hokitika Star, is (old of Ilu; Valentine season, at a place not a thousand miles from Hokitika. On St. Valentine's morning-, a mysterious looking missive .arrived at (he Post-office, addressed “To tins biggest fool in the. district.” The gross irreg-uiarity of tinwhole affair was at once apparent, and in accordance with the regulations in such case made and provided, the gentleman in charge of the department proceeded to open the missive. It is not for us to assert the result was altogether satisfactory, hot this is certain, (hat tinenclosure when unfolded contained merely (he following words, “ Thou art the mam” The irVwt Coast Time* adverting to the objections made- by the last lot of Herman immigrants to remain at Jackson's Bay, says : —“ Carried free, fed, and fostered by the Government, theirs is an inlinilely better position to that of the thousands who were east ashore on the sands at Hokitika, some years ago, who struggled through tlnod, forest, an 1 He'd, from the East to the West Coast, and who were satisfied with a diet of jug’s jmtatoi-s, on the road to the Dunstan, and amidst all (heir disadvantages at their own expense, made this country what it is.”

Tho Evening Post says that a hj -each oil promise case, in which the plainl.ilT is of the male sox, and the defendants are a Dunedin |iub'iean and his newly-wedded wifi', is, it is reported, to coino on for (rial at the next civil sessions of the Supreme Court tliere. The facts disclosed are expected to constitute an apt illustration of an old proverb, “There's many a slip twixt the cup and the lip.” The consolation sought is damages £SOO.

There is a proof of the Australian cable having more than local advantages (says a Wellington exchange). Ships on lockout for freight do not now, as they did two years ago, clear for a foreign port on “spec.” The captain of the Ned' White telegraphed to his owners in New York that there was no freight offering here,- - and to-day lie received a telegram dated “ New York, March G,” directing him to proceed to Manilla,, there to load a cargo of sugar, for New York direct. Captains of the old school, who had to “go seeking” for cargo in the India and China ports, may well marvel at the telegraphic wonders of the present day. An hotel to, cost £BO,OOO, is to be erected on the site of the Criterion, Melbourne. There arc to he 277 rooms, and it will be live stories.

One of the most audacious quacks that ever lived was J. Harrison Curtis, “aurist.” lie knew almost absolutely nothing of the profession that he adopted, but he got something of reputation, and was once summoned to attend Sir Robert Peel, who was suffering from temporary deafness. He went provided with two watches, one that licked very weakly, and another that made as much noise as a clock. Peel began to question him as to his mode of treatment, but Curtis, giving him a dig with a syringe, told him if he didn’t hold his tongue something would befall him. The quack put the weak-ticking watch to Sir Robert’s ear, and of course he couldn’t hear anything ; but after working for some' time lie applied the other, and Peel could hear perfectly well ! It was a marvellous cure.

The Havas agency lias published au account of a tragedy on board the Thin, bound with convicts for New Caledonia. It occurred on the 9th November. An attempt at escape was made by some convicts from the lower gun deck. 'lhe ringleader, Leroy, was arrested, and exasperated by the failure of the attempt, turned his rage against one companion who he thought had betrayed him, but instead of attacking the right man, he murdered his friend and accomplice by cutting his throat with a razor which he had managed to conceal,

A salt mine in Bochina, in Austria, lias been the scene of a great conflagration, caused hy an inexperienced engineer, who while cleaning the engine allowed the hemp be was using to catch fire at a naked light. Fight lives were lost, six being killed in attempting to save others.

Sir Donald MT.ean has intimated to the Inspector of Schools in Otago that it is his intention to have printed an epitome of the history of New Zealand, written by Mr Alex. Mackay, for the use of schools. The Picton J’rcss of March 11, reports that Mr W. Woodgafc, who resides near that town, has found the egg of a moa containing a young bird inside. The egg was broken during its removal, but the pieces of the shell were saved, and the immature bird is in a good state of preservation.

The telegraph has again been successful in leading to an important arrest. Three men s mm lime, since stole at Uio de Janeiro a quantity of diamonds valued at £2:1.000, and then left for the Mauritius. The cable brought the news to Paris, whence it wmssent to Madeira, and then — there being no telegraphic communication between there and youth Alrica —itwai taken hy steamer to Cape Town. The result was that the m-n were captured at ft Port Fli/aheth. Paul Morphy, the once famous chess player, has been consigned to a lunatic nsV lmn, in New' Orleans, as a hopeless maniac.