MR G. B. SHAW AND THE CENSOR.

Otago Witness, Issue 2895, 8 September 1909, Page 78

MR G. B. SHAW AND THE CENSOR.

Mr G. Bernard Shaw has written a topical sketch, called "Press Cuttings," which the Examiner of Plays objects to because it introduces a slim, pale, youn-g Prime Minister by the nanne of Balsquith and 1 a ibewhiskered, brandy-pawnee-look-ing member of the Army Council, General Mitobener. This violates the rule against personalities aaid the preseoxtation of living persons on the stage. Nevertheless, Mr fcyhaw is transported with indignation, and writes to the press, declaring that "it positively unhinges my mind, and bereaves me of breath." He has no particular defence of but asI serts in injured tone that " Mitch'&ner " is a name adopted lest the unthinking public should imagine a caricature of LotkJ Roberts to be intended. In the upshot the sketch had to be performed privately at the Royal Court Theatre, in the presence of only the critics and a score of ' other men. Here are some characteristics of the piece, as described in The Times : j " The incompetent but amusing orderly j in this play is the son of a Shc-rediitdh , bar*ber, and a distant cousin of ' the Parkinsons, of Stepney ' ; and he ' can't bear ! to be looked dtown upon as a common i soldier.' Moreover, by the Ist of April, 1912, martial law will have been proclaimed in London as a protection against the etill unenfranchised female suffragists ; but so inefficient are the forces that the only way in which the Prime Minister, Balsquith, can get to the War Office to see General Mitdhener is by dressing up as a woman and pretending to be what the book of the play calls a 'suffrage*.' He has come to discus the situation, and the situation among other things is discussed. ' Shoot them down !' is General Mitcbeaiex's invariable advice for tbe treatment of troublesome persons ; and when the Prime Minister pleads public opinion, he replies : ' There's no such thing as public opinion. There are certain persons who entertain cei*tain opinions. Well, ahoot them down. Wheai you have shot them down, there are no longer any persons entertaining those j opinions alive.' But, meanwhile, at is the I ' sufiiraigete ' who are shooting. One of | them has pepp€T.fc*df a sentry, and he has I ' clouiied her head for her,' and she has I told him he was no gentleman, and i General Mitcbener is as mervoiis in prac- | tioe as he is bloodthirsty in theory, and this Prime Minister is terribly worried, and ,the orderly is bath impudent and talkatdve. They are all talkative." It is worth while quoting as an illustration of tbe Shaw method in political farce a scrap of the dialogue at this j momentous interview. The orderly tells I MK'tchener that a woman has fastened her- ! self to the door-scraper, and, as there is no way of getting rid of her, 6he has to be brought into tine General's office. She turns out to be Balsquith, the Prime Minister, in disguise. The Orderly (outside): "In you go." (He pushes a panting suffragette into tihe room.) " Tbe person, sir." (He withdraws.) The suffragette takes off her tailor-made skirt, and reveals a pair of fashionable trousers. Mitchener (horrified) : " Stop, madam ! '. Wbat are you doing? Yoi* must not undress in my presence. I protest. Not j even your letter from tbe Prime Minisj ter -" The Suffragette : "My dear Mitchener, lam the Prime Minister." (He takes off his hat a.nd cloak, throws them on the desk, and confronts the Genera! in the , ordinary costume of a Cabinet Minister.) i Mitrhener : "Good heavens! Bal- < squith ! " i Balsqurith (throwing himself into Mit- ' chenw's chair) : " Yes, it is indeed Bal- 1 squith. Ifc has come to this, that the \ only way the Prime Minister of England ' can get from Downing st.r.eet to the War i Office is by assuming this drisgui««. shrieking ' Votes for women,' and chaining him- j salf to your door-sciaper. They were at the corner in force. They oneered me. Bella-christina he it elf was there. She j shook my hard, and tore? me to pay I J wias a vegetarian, as the diet wat. better J in Holloway for vegetarians." 1 Mitchener : " Why didn't you tele- ( phone?" * J Balsquith : "They tap the telephone. . Every switchboard in London is in their bands, or in those of their young men." j Mitchener : " Where on earth did you \ get tbe dres«? " c Balsquith : " I stole it from a little 1 exhibition we are having in Downing i street." Mitchener : " You don't mean to say a it's a French dress?" t Balfiquith : " Great heavems, no ! We're j not allowed even to put on o-ur "loves with French ebqJk. Everything's labelled 'Made in Cambenvell.' " * l . It should, perhaps, be added that one i of the prime topics of discumon on thp o stage is the comparative risks entailed n by child-bearing and 'tbe battlefield. This 'rsubject is treated bj Mrs Farrell, the 'li Irish charwoman, -who has eight children \ i" to show against a certain general's eight j h pitched battles, and declares that it is I ! only regard for tbe birth-rate which pre- j ° vents tbe men putting the fighting on h women, "just as the} put all tbe other i *' drudgery." Mrs Farrell (observes one ' critic) is a Y €rv plain-spoken lady — in- !b ' deed, much too plain-spoken. She pro- i n Vjidtes the capital instance of a characteris- I tl tic that occurs often in this play — an un- j t< nec«i?saTy blow or blows given to the nail j d after it is v, r ell home. » fi